• You will be replaced by a shell script...

    From Poindexter Fortran@46:1/115 to All on Fri Jan 29 11:21:00 2016

    grabbed from the net...

    An ex-coworker of mine has posted this gem to a russian bash.org, so I decided to translate this and steal all the credit post this to my blog under his permission.

    xxx: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know, that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... If something - anything - requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that.

    xxx: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy"

    xxx: You're gonna love this

    xxx: smack-my-bitch-up.sh - sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login.

    xxx: kumar-asshole.sh - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help", "trouble", "sorry" etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time".

    xxx: hangover.sh - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling well/gonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am.

    xxx: (and the oscar goes to) fuckingcoffee.sh - this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens an SSH session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has SSHD up and running) and sends some weird gibberish to it. Looks binary. Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 (!) seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk.

    xxx: holy sh*t I'm keeping those


    For those who are saying "Scripts or it didn't happen",

    https://github.com/narkoz/hacker-scripts


    Share and Enjoy,

    --pF
    --- SBBSecho 2.27-Win32
    * Origin: Sent from my iPhone (46:1/115)
  • From Deavmi@46:1/107 to Poindexter Fortran on Sat Nov 19 21:20:23 2016
    On 2016-01-29 09:21 PM, Poindexter Fortran wrote:

    grabbed from the net...

    An ex-coworker of mine has posted this gem to a russian bash.org, so I
    decided
    to translate this and steal all the credit post this to my blog under his permission.

    xxx: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know, that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... If
    something
    - anything - requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that.

    xxx: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy"

    xxx: You're gonna love this

    xxx: smack-my-bitch-up.sh - sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login.

    xxx: kumar-asshole.sh - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help", "trouble", "sorry" etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the
    staging
    database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be
    careful
    next time".

    xxx: hangover.sh - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling well/gonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are
    no
    interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am.

    xxx: (and the oscar goes to) fuckingcoffee.sh - this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens an SSH session to our coffee-machine (we had no
    frikin
    idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has SSHD up and running) and sends some weird gibberish to it. Looks binary. Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 (!) seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk.

    xxx: holy sh*t I'm keeping those


    For those who are saying "Scripts or it didn't happen",

    https://github.com/narkoz/hacker-scripts


    Share and Enjoy,

    --pF
    --- SBBSecho 2.27-Win32
    * Origin: Sent from my iPhone (46:1/115)


    Give me `fuckingcoffee.sh` and bloody `fuckingdonut.sh` please.
    --- SBBSecho 3.00-Linux
    * Origin: Electronic Warfare BBS | telnet:\\bbs.ewbbs.net (46:1/107)
  • From Deavmi@46:1/107 to Poindexter Fortran on Sat Nov 19 21:20:45 2016
    On 2016-01-29 09:21 PM, Poindexter Fortran wrote:

    grabbed from the net...

    An ex-coworker of mine has posted this gem to a russian bash.org, so I
    decided
    to translate this and steal all the credit post this to my blog under his permission.

    xxx: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know, that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... If
    something
    - anything - requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that.

    xxx: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy"

    xxx: You're gonna love this

    xxx: smack-my-bitch-up.sh - sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login.

    xxx: kumar-asshole.sh - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help", "trouble", "sorry" etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the
    staging
    database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be
    careful
    next time".

    xxx: hangover.sh - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling well/gonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are
    no
    interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am.

    xxx: (and the oscar goes to) fuckingcoffee.sh - this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens an SSH session to our coffee-machine (we had no
    frikin
    idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has SSHD up and running) and sends some weird gibberish to it. Looks binary. Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 (!) seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk.

    xxx: holy sh*t I'm keeping those


    For those who are saying "Scripts or it didn't happen",

    https://github.com/narkoz/hacker-scripts


    Share and Enjoy,

    --pF
    --- SBBSecho 2.27-Win32
    * Origin: Sent from my iPhone (46:1/115)

    This is one of the best posts I, only been here for a few days now, have
    seen.
    --- SBBSecho 3.00-Linux
    * Origin: Electronic Warfare BBS | telnet:\\bbs.ewbbs.net (46:1/107)