Hello!

I am here to tell you about yet another movie you must avoid at any cost. The penalty
for ignoring my wise advice is enduring one of the worst pieces of film-making ever
spawned from Hell. And yes I am convinced this movie was made in the forges of Hell
itself, and then rejected by the Beast because it was too evil even for his dark
realm.

This turd has been titled The Night Crew.

The plot is simple and sounds like your standard foundation for an action movie. A
slave belonging to a Mexican king of cartels escapes, and the cartel king sends his
minions for her. A bunch of mercenaries is sent to rescue her and take her to the US
because she has information that can sink the druglord. The mercenaries end up fighting the cartel in a bloody orgy of destruction. So far, so good.

This "ok" plot is fatally wounded by the lamest of executions. A random collection of
movie killers seen in this parody of a film:

1) The mercenaries are, for lack of a better word, retards. They do the Macho talk,
they handle guns, they will leave nobody behind... however, they manage to convince
you that they are just generic tokens supposed to portray badass mercenaries without
being badass mercenaries. In short, the mercenary squad is not convincing, the members
are too dumb to live, and the fact the film wants us to believe they are the best of
the best feels outright insulting.

2) For that matter, the cartel minions don't fall much behind. They are beliveable bad
people at times, but they will also take prisoners and torture them one by one, without tying their captured comrades or taking their weapons away while doing the
torturing.

3) The Token Asian Hot Girl's only role is to look stoic as exposions happen and
people dies around her. What a waste.

4) The action is badly produced. The gun effects are cheap. I hate modern gun effects,
I much prefer the old movies in which they fired blanks. I don't intend all movies to
be like Act of Valor (in which they used freaking live ammo for authenticity in a
bunch of scenes) but if you are doing a gunny movie you need proper gun effects. The
grenades and rocket launchers felt like fireworks more than anything else.

5) A lot of character drama is thrown in. A lot of who-sleeps-with-who in situations
in which people is dying left and right. It feels like a cheap attempt at character
developent which turns out to be just borying.

I don't want to give a completely negative view of this movie, so I will leave also
some positives:

* It is still better than Night Train to Venice. This means The Night Crew will make
your brain ooze out of your ears instead of making your head explode like Night TRain
to Venice.
* It is an effective torture device. Just sit your enemies in front of the screen and
watch them suffer. They will answer any questions for the promise of being just shot
dead instead of forced to endure The Night Crew.
* I had a nice gin-tonic with the film. It was very good a drink. Actually, it turned
out to be the best thing in the whole movie.


I hope my wise warning gets to sav your souls and sanity, and that my sacrifice watching this film serves to prevent others from going through all the pain and suffering I wend through.

You are welcome.





--
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Hello Arelor!

** On Wednesday 28.04.21 - 17:50, Arelor wrote to All:

I am here to tell you about yet another movie you must avoid
at any cost. The penalty for ignoring my wise advice is
enduring one of the worst pieces of film-making ever spawned
from Hell..

I don't want to give a completely negative view of this
movie, so I will leave also some positives:

will make your brain ooze out of your ears instead of making
your head explode like Night TRain to Venice..

* It is an effective torture device. Just sit your enemies
in front of the screen and watch them suffer..

I hope my wise warning gets to sav your souls and sanity, ..

I think you delivered the best entertainment that any 10 films
combined could ever achieve! The writing was hilarious.

I appreciate your sacrifices. But.. be careful out there!


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Arelor wrote to All <=-

I hope my wise warning gets to sav your souls and sanity, and that my sacrifice watching this film serves to prevent others from going
through all the pain and suffering I wend through.

Where are Joel, Crow T. Robot and the rest of the gang when we need them the most?


... There are secrets within lies, answers within riddles.
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This turd has been titled The Night Crew.

Sounds like a vehicle for senseless violence. Thanks for the warning.


* SLMR 2.1a * A nudist wedding makes the best man easy to identify.

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Re: The Night Crew
By: Dumas Walker to ARELOR on Thu Apr 29 2021 11:24 am

This turd has been titled The Night Crew.

Sounds like a vehicle for senseless violence. Thanks for the warning.

* SLMR 2.1a * A nudist wedding makes the best man easy to identify.

Oh, it is worse than that.

See, there are films that are built around a thin excuse of a plot in order to turn themselves into a fest of blood and gore. When such thing is made clear before you even get to play the film, I think it is not a problem. Some people likes donuts made of empty calories. Some people just want a film to get drunk watching zombies getting run over by the heroes. If you get the sort of junk you were bargaining for, you can't say you got scammed.

The problem is that cheap-action-only films need their action to be well produced, actors that are beliveable in gun-and-run scenes, and characters with barely depth enough to care a little bit for their fates. If the film is The Night Crew, it fails even at achieving _that_ for the most part.

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