Pretty much bang-on for me in the '70s, too. . . more or less. . .

We had yoghurt -- mostly plain, though. Pineapple in the can or dried cubes; don't recall seeing a real one anywhere but pictures, though. . .

Oh, early in the decade, a computer was an accountant.

logon & logoff were only campfire terms.

& if you had a floppy disk, you kept your mouth shut & hoped nobody found
out!

/Cyberpope

From a Facebook post...

EATING IN THE FIFTIES

Pasta had not been invented. It was macaroni or spaghetti.

Curry was a surname.

A take-away was a mathematical problem.

Pizza? Sounds like a leaning tower somewhere.

Bananas and oranges only appeared at Christmas time .

All potato chips were plain.

Rice was a milk pudding, and never, ever, part of our dinner.

A Big Mac was what we wore when it was raining.

Brown bread was something only poor people ate.

Oil was for lubricating, fat was for cooking.

Tea was made in a teapot using tea leaves and never green

Cubed sugar was regarded as posh.

Chickens didn't have fingers in those days.

None of us had ever heard of yogurt.

Healthy food consisted of anything edible.

Cooking outside was called camping.

Seaweed was not a recognized food.

'Kebab' was not even a word, never mind a food.

Sugar enjoyed a good press in those days, and was regarded as being
white gold.

Prunes were medicinal.

Surprisingly muesli was readily available. It was called cattle feed.

Pineapples came in chunks in a tin; we had only ever seen a picture of
a real one.

Water came out of the tap. If someone had suggested bottling it and
charging more than gasoline for it, they would have become a laughing
stock.

The one thing that we never ever had on at our table in the fifties...
was elbows or hats!
--- SBBSecho 3.13-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George,

& if you had a floppy disk, you kept your mouth shut & hoped nobody
found out!

Tagline 1: Junior!! Quit Playing With Your Floppy!!

Tagline 2: Hard Disk??!! Lady, I misunderstood you!!

Daryl

... Error: Keyboard not attached. Press <F1> to continue.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.13-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)

George,

& if you had a floppy disk, you kept your mouth shut & hoped nobody found out!

Tagline 1: Junior!! Quit Playing With Your Floppy!!

Tagline 2: Hard Disk??!! Lady, I misunderstood you!!

Hopefully she didn't misunderstand, else he might be the victim of a reformatting, destroying all data. . .

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George,

& if you had a floppy disk, you kept your mouth shut & hoped nobody found out!

Tagline 1: Junior!! Quit Playing With Your Floppy!!

Tagline 2: Hard Disk??!! Lady, I misunderstood you!!

Hopefully she didn't misunderstand, else he might be the victim of a reformatting, destroying all data. . .

There was a deal where this girl was talking that her boyfriend was talking about her like a nice car. Her dad basically said "if he tries to look under your hood, I'll pull his dipstick so hard, that his headlights will bug out, and his exhaust pipe will explode". :P

Daryl

... It's not hard to meet expenses...they're everywhere.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.13-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)

From a Facebook post...

EATING IN THE FIFTIES

Pasta had not been invented. It was macaroni or spaghetti.

Curry was a surname.

A take-away was a mathematical problem.

Pizza? Sounds like a leaning tower somewhere.

Bananas and oranges only appeared at Christmas time .

All potato chips were plain.

Rice was a milk pudding, and never, ever, part of our dinner.

A Big Mac was what we wore when it was raining.

Brown bread was something only poor people ate.

Oil was for lubricating, fat was for cooking.

Tea was made in a teapot using tea leaves and never green

Cubed sugar was regarded as posh.

Chickens didn't have fingers in those days.

None of us had ever heard of yogurt.

Healthy food consisted of anything edible.

Cooking outside was called camping.

Seaweed was not a recognized food.

'Kebab' was not even a word, never mind a food.

Sugar enjoyed a good press in those days, and was regarded as being
white gold.

Prunes were medicinal.

Surprisingly muesli was readily available. It was called cattle feed.

Pineapples came in chunks in a tin; we had only ever seen a picture of
a real one.

Water came out of the tap. If someone had suggested bottling it and
charging more than gasoline for it, they would have become a laughing
stock.

The one thing that we never ever had on at our table in the fifties...
was elbows or hats!
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)

From a Facebook post...

EATING IN THE FIFTIES

:likewise for some homes in the '70s (my childhood)

Pasta had not been invented. It was macaroni or spaghetti.

Curry was a surname.

of Steph's parents & one grandfather. . . :)

A take-away was a mathematical problem.

or was called a "doggy bag"

Pizza? Sounds like a leaning tower somewhere.

If you asked for mediterranean flatbread, you'd get a "huh?!" look. .

Bananas and oranges only appeared at Christmas time .

I always had the Japanese mandarin a the bottom of the stocking, every Xmas morning!

They're expensive now! $8 or more for a 5lb box that's usually a bit light & you need to throw away a half pound of mouldy ones. . . but worth it! I don't care if I can get 5lb of Chinese or Korean for $4 or $5! Gotta have my
Japanese ones in December!

All potato chips were plain.

We had flavours. Mosdt adultys only bought Sour Cream & Onion, took me years
to discover there were many others.

Had only two companies (Hostess & Old Dutch -- no Doritos -- cheese nacho triangles were by Old Dutch & a favorite for those who discovered the 'hungervating' side effects of non-medicinal cannabis.

I recaoll, still, wyen Hostess first brought out Dill Pickle -- I loved
those, but only 1 or 2 places carried them & one was 7-11 (cost double what other chips cost elsewhere)

My fave as a kid was Old Duytch's Popcorn Twists (bag was 3X biugger than any other for 25c!)

Ahh, 25c for a pop, chocolate bar, or bag of chips!

I watched little self-serve candies (marshmallow strawberries, Double Bubble gum, etc) go from 2 for 3c to 2c to 3/5c to 3c to 5c (that was a 'WTH?!' leap for me!)

Only when theser were up tyo 5c each did I discover penny candy -- one lttle out of the way corner store on the highway prolly hadn't updated his prices since the '60s, had a big 8qt glass jar of teeny Tootsie Rolls, single candy cigarettes, & other individual candies on the front counter. I was in Heaven!

Now those 25c chips are almost $2! & the pops are no longer 10oz, but 12 or
16 & cost over $2!

Chocolate bars are usually around $1.50. I wait for a sale on bakers
chocolate chunks & buy a bag or two of dark & semi-sweet. . .

Rice was a milk pudding, and never, ever, part of our dinner.

My mom was hybrid on this -- we'd have rice with, say, home-made sweet & sour pork(or potatoes, which sounds weird now) & rice pudding the next day. . .

A Big Mac was what we wore when it was raining.

The nearest McDonalds was across the river in a town 10mi away & we MIGHT go once a year. A&W was in our town & we'd go 2-3 times/year. (much better anyway!)

I discovered Wendy's on my own, in my teens & fell in love with "Triple bacon-cheese-everything, large fries, large choclit shake"

Brown bread was something only poor people ate.

The '70s was when the government & medical orgs propagandized us with the canard on how good whole grains were, so I grew up on whole grain bread & cereals. .

Oil was for lubricating, fat was for cooking.

Yup. . . well, you used cooking oil for deep frying maybe, or lard. . .

Tea was made in a teapot using tea leaves and never green

My mom loverd her Red Rose tea(& I got the little animal figurines from each big tin)

Cubed sugar was regarded as posh.

Or was left beside the ubiquitous coffee poit at gas stations & car sales
lots.

I started drinkinig coffee at age 8 at he car dealerships -- strong acid all- day coffee with 4 cubes & a tbsp of Coffeemate!

Still brings back memories!

Chickens didn't have fingers in those days.

nor fish, & I'm pretty sure buffalos didn't fly. . .

None of us had ever heard of yogurt.

My mom was aghead of everyone else on the health foods, so we had plain
yoghurt (no fruit, bleagh!) on occasion. I only use the plain for cooking curries now!

Healthy food consisted of anything edible.

Mostly, yup, but therre were, in the '70s, Health Food stores where you could buy anything you bought at Safeay for tripile the cost because it said "organic" on it (some things never change, except now these triple priced products are at Safeway, et al, too)

Cooking outside was called camping.

& the smoke ALWAYS followed the person most bothered by it!

Seaweed was not a recognized food.

Neither was sushi ("bait")

'Kebab' was not even a word, never mind a food.

Shishkebab was new in the '70s along with smorgasbords! All hail our Swedish overlords & their fish & meatballs!

Sugar enjoyed a good press in those days, and was regarded as being
white gold.

I put a layer of sugar on my sandwiches, sometimes!

Not so my mom would see, of course!

Surprisingly muesli was readily available. It was called cattle feed.

My mom made her own granola (home-made muesli drizzled in honey & baked)

Pineapples came in chunks in a tin; we had only ever seen a picture of
a real one.

A necessary part of sweet & sour chicken (one of my childhood faves)

Water came out of the tap. If someone had suggested bottling it and
charging more than gasoline for it, they would have become a laughing
stock.

No kidding. I recall when bottled water first appeared in the '80s, the
mocking we did of it!

We'd be walking through the streets on a hot summer's afternoon, get thirsty, &jus hed to the fist outdoor tap we saw, & put our moputh right on it to
drink our fill (nobody knew how mamy mouths had just been on it nor how many would follow - this is why me & my crew are covid-proofed! That & wew occasionally swam in liquid sewage(Fraser River had small towns up in the Interior, dump their unprocessed seweage straight into it)

The one thing that we never ever had on at our table in the fifties...
was elbows or hats!

I only wore a baseball cap(forward-facing) occasionally on sunny days, & it came off as soon as I got inside home!

One comic said he cae home & his dad asked why his cap was on backwards.

"It's the style now, dad."

"Son, either you turn the cap around or I will turn your head around."

My dad would rap my elbow quite sharply with the back of his butter knife if
my elbow was on the table. .

I'm 54 now & still have no idea why anyone would care about being comfy, resting on one elbow while or after eating. . .

ok, puns today. . .how about chocolate as a topic?

I seem to find a way of sneaking chocolate into movie theaters..
.. I always have a few twix up my sleeve.

I finally got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows and nuts.
I won't lie, it was a rocky road.

I sexually identify as chocolate
My pronouns are Her-She

Life is like a box of chocolates
It won't last long if you're obese

HersheyÆs and Ikea have joined together to sell a chocolate pet.
Just picked up a K∩t Kaßt. Now to put it together...

Working at an ice cream parlor there was a customer that insisted I serve him chocolate ice cream even though we were out of it. He just wouldnÆt give up.

So I said ôletÆs play a gameö. How many ôvansö are in vanilla ice cream? -he said ôoneö(correct)

So how many ôstrawsö are in strawberry ice cream?
He said ôoneö again (correct)

So then how many ô FÆsö are in chocolate ice cream? He said there is no ôFö
in chocolate ice cream

I said ôExactly- THERE IS NO F IN CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM!!!

A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt. Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh RochΘ...

What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A chocolate baaaaa.

A Korean martial artist was giving away chocolate bars. I asked if I could
have 2. He said...
"No. You can take-won-do."

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George,

Curry was a surname.

of Steph's parents & one grandfather. . . :)

Two teachers I had in high school had that surname...a father
and his son.

A take-away was a mathematical problem.

or was called a "doggy bag"

And, the pets know if you didn't bring home a treat for them.
Now, some human food is OK for them to eat (green beans and
carrots especially), but by and large, much of it is a no-no.
And, it's true that when they beg..."if you give into them once,
you've corrupted them forever".

If you asked for mediterranean flatbread, you'd get a "huh?!" look. .

Probably. A flatbed is easier to sleep on than a waterbed.

They're expensive now! $8 or more for a 5lb box that's usually a bit
light & you need to throw away a half pound of mouldy ones. . . but
worth it! I don't care if I can get 5lb of Chinese or Korean for $4 or
$5! Gotta have my Japanese ones in December!

Everything has gone up. I went to Wal-Mart today, originally just to
get some extra toilet paper (bum wad <G>) and paper towels. But, I also
decided to pick up some Depends and Underpads, and 4 bags of the Funions
for a snack. I have plenty of diet green tea citrus, chicken nuggets,
bread, and lunch meat, so I can afford to eat at home the next several
days. But, I also had to go out, as my T-Mobile phone died. This makes
3 straight Samsung models (the Galaxy A10, A11, and A12) that have had
numerous problems. They won't hold a charge, or the thing just completely
dies. I got a new 5G capable Samsung A32 (I think). Someone told me that
the 4G technology is being phased out.

We had flavours. Mosdt adultys only bought Sour Cream & Onion, took me years to discover there were many others.

The ones I liked that Lay's had were Sausage Gravy Biscuit, and Garlic
Cheese Sticks. Those are long gone...I thought about getting the Dill
Pickle ones, but opted for the Funions instead. Of course, if I had
gotten the Dill Pickle Potato Chips, and some ice cream sandwiches, with
eating pickles and ice cream, folks would really wonder about me (like
they aren't already) <G>.

My fave as a kid was Old Duytch's Popcorn Twists (bag was 3X biugger
than any other for 25c!)

Never heard of that brand.

I watched little self-serve candies (marshmallow strawberries, Double Bubble gum, etc) go from 2 for 3c to 2c to 3/5c to 3c to 5c (that was a 'WTH?!' leap for me!)

I remember the Double Bubble Gum...the only gum I chewed growing up was
Juicy Fruit. With my dentures now, only Freedent won't pull the dentures
out.

Only when theser were up tyo 5c each did I discover penny candy -- one lttle out of the way corner store on the highway prolly hadn't updated
his prices since the '60s, had a big 8qt glass jar of teeny Tootsie
Rolls, single candy cigarettes, & other individual candies on the front counter. I was in Heaven!

I remember the candy cigarettes and tiny tootsie rolls. At one time, I
had figured how how many licks it took to get to the center of a Tootsie
Pop (I think around 973).

Chocolate bars are usually around $1.50. I wait for a sale on bakers chocolate chunks & buy a bag or two of dark & semi-sweet. . .

The only chocolate I have now is the Little Debbie Cosmic Brownies...
and they don't taste anything like Girl Scouts. <G> A few months back,
a local troop was selling the cookies at the pharmacy next to the Post
Office where my P.O. Box is. I bought 6 boxes of the thin mints!!

My mom was hybrid on this -- we'd have rice with, say, home-made sweet
& sour pork(or potatoes, which sounds weird now) & rice pudding the
next day. . .

I still have a couple things of microwave Minute Rice...I decided to
take a break from that for awhile.

The nearest McDonalds was across the river in a town 10mi away & we
MIGHT go once a year. A&W was in our town & we'd go 2-3 times/year.
(much better anyway!)

Admittedly, I do like their French Fries.

I discovered Wendy's on my own, in my teens & fell in love with "Triple bacon-cheese-everything, large fries, large choclit shake"

When we lived in Hialeah (northwest of Miami) they didn't have a Wendy's
in the area...you had to drive north to Fort Pierce. They finally did
expand to the area.

The '70s was when the government & medical orgs propagandized us with
the canard on how good whole grains were, so I grew up on whole grain bread & cereals. .

I've eaten wheat bread on occasion, but prefer the white. There was
a bread called Home Pride (I think) that was baked with butter in it.

Yup. . . well, you used cooking oil for deep frying maybe, or lard. . .

I was going to say washing clothes, but that was lye (think Granny
from The Beverly Hillbillies). I used that when working at Burger King
to clean the grease screens in the vent hoods from the broiler and the
fry vats. And, used a variant of that in silkscreen to remove the
"ghost stain" from the previous image. But, you could not let that
sit too long on there, or the mesh would come apart. Plus, you had to
wear protective gloves and a face shield while washing it out with a
power hose, to avoid splashing that on your face or body.

My mom loverd her Red Rose tea(& I got the little animal figurines from each big tin)

I drink the diet green tea citrus now. I saw a peach tea today (I think
from Lipton), but my icebox is full right now. Yet, with the hot weather coming, I'll be drinking 1 to 2 quarts of that every day.

I started drinkinig coffee at age 8 at he car dealerships -- strong
acid all- day coffee with 4 cubes & a tbsp of Coffeemate!

I never acquired a taste for it.

Chickens didn't have fingers in those days.

nor fish, & I'm pretty sure buffalos didn't fly. . .

Pigs fly depending on how high you can toss them. <G>

My mom was aghead of everyone else on the health foods, so we had plain yoghurt (no fruit, bleagh!) on occasion. I only use the plain for
cooking curries now!

There is one location of The Country's Best Yogurt (TCBY) in west
Little Rock. I haven't been there in a long time.

Mostly, yup, but therre were, in the '70s, Health Food stores where you could buy anything you bought at Safeay for tripile the cost because it said "organic" on it (some things never change, except now these triple priced products are at Safeway, et al, too)

I hear the prices now are through the roof, especially at Whole Foods.

& the smoke ALWAYS followed the person most bothered by it!

Really.

'Kebab' was not even a word, never mind a food.

Not until they added shish to it. <G>

Shishkebab was new in the '70s along with smorgasbords! All hail our Swedish overlords & their fish & meatballs!

There was a TV dinner with Swedish Meatballs, but I haven't had that
in awhile.

Pineapples came in chunks in a tin; we had only ever seen a picture of
a real one.

I remember those fruit cocktail deals. I saw a picture of a slice of
pizza with a piece of ham and pineapple on it. I think they call that
"the Hawaiian version".

A necessary part of sweet & sour chicken (one of my childhood faves)

I've always wondered why they called it that...just like sour cream.
To me, just that one adjective, turns me off.

We'd be walking through the streets on a hot summer's afternoon, get thirsty, &jus hed to the fist outdoor tap we saw, & put our moputh
right on it to drink our fill (nobody knew how mamy mouths had just
been on it nor how many would follow - this is why me & my crew are covid-proofed! That & wew occasionally swam in liquid sewage(Fraser
River had small towns up in the Interior, dump their unprocessed
seweage straight into it)

I remember drinking from the garden hose.

One comic said he cae home & his dad asked why his cap was on
backwards.

"It's the style now, dad."

That's their pants...but you wonder why older men wear their pants
higher. There was a meme, where this kid asked his Mom why his Dad
was walking around with his pants down so his underwear would show.
His Mom said "Daddy will stop doing that once you do". Even if they
KNEW the meaning of what that was, they'd probably still do it.

I'm 54 now & still have no idea why anyone would care about being
comfy, resting on one elbow while or after eating. . .

Or we slurp our foot or the beverage through the straw.

I seem to find a way of sneaking chocolate into movie theaters..
.. I always have a few twix up my sleeve.

At the price the theatres charge, you might as well.

I finally got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows and nuts.
I won't lie, it was a rocky road.

Some folks really love that flavor. My favorites are either
Neopolitan (chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry combined), orange
sherbert, or peach.

I sexually identify as chocolate
My pronouns are Her-She

The inquisitive sneeze: Who's She?

The Samauri Sneese: Kanitchiwa. (sp?).

Or if it's a woman handling the money, she's the Treasure-Her. <G>

Life is like a box of chocolates
It won't last long if you're obese

The Chocolate Lovers Diet. Never be more than 12 steps away from
chocolate (I have that as a QWK tagline).

HersheyÆs and Ikea have joined together to sell a chocolate pet.
Just picked up a K∩t Kaßt. Now to put it together...

Haven't had those in awhile...but they're better chilled.

So I said ôletÆs play a gameö. How many ôvansö are in vanilla ice
cream? -he said ôoneö(correct)

So how many ôstrawsö are in strawberry ice cream?
He said ôoneö again (correct)

So then how many ô FÆsö are in chocolate ice cream? He said there is no ôFö in chocolate ice cream

I said ôExactly- THERE IS NO F IN CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM!!!

<the light comes on!>. Or like the commercial of the guy who can't
stop taking "free samples". Years ago, Sam's Club would do that (I'm
not sure if they offer that now or not), and at the Arkansas State
Fair, some vendors in the Hall Of Industry were offering free samples
of their food. My late father was sure to visit those booths. <G>

What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A chocolate baaaaa.

Wool see about that.

A Korean martial artist was giving away chocolate bars. I asked if I
could have 2. He said...
"No. You can take-won-do."

Sounds like the local pest control company who says they can take care
of anything -- even karate chopping termites (their leader is Chester
T. (for Termite) Overbite). <G>

Daryl

... Have any Grey Poupon? No, you got bird poop on your vehicle.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)

Curry was a surname.

of Steph's parents & one grandfather. . . :)

Two teachers I had in high school had that surname...a father
and his son.

I've never heard of any besies Steph Curry before now. . .

And, the pets know if you didn't bring home a treat for them.
Now, some human food is OK for them to eat (green beans and
carrots especially), but by and large, much of it is a no-no.
And, it's true that when they beg..."if you give into them once,
you've corrupted them forever".

Our dog was corrupted when we got him -- we only give him safe fruit,
carrots, & potatoes -- he's allergic to protein.

Probably. A flatbed is easier to sleep on than a waterbed.

Agreed. My current mattress is the "Diamond" from Sleep Country -- the
hardest one they make (flat & solid top layer, like it should be!)

Everything has gone up. I went to Wal-Mart today, originally just to
get some extra toilet paper (bum wad <G>) and paper towels. But, I also decided to pick up some Depends and Underpads, and 4 bags of the Funions
for a snack. I have plenty of diet green tea citrus, chicken nuggets,
bread, and lunch meat, so I can afford to eat at home the next several
days. But, I also had to go out, as my T-Mobile phone died. This makes
3 straight Samsung models (the Galaxy A10, A11, and A12) that have had numerous problems. They won't hold a charge, or the thing just completely dies. I got a new 5G capable Samsung A32 (I think). Someone told me that
the 4G technology is being phased out.

Yup, I'm on LTE(aka 5G) on an Apple iPhone6.

I know it's behind, but I like it that way -- it's quite current on iOS updates, so I can do most of what others do with their iPhone10s or 11s

You can buy late model iPhones at Best Buy -- they're not locked to anyone & they have all the Hz ranges used in Canada,. so can be brought to any telco.

I can get a new phone now from my telco, as I've been with them for 8 years
or so; I used my last few annual credit allotments to get phones for my daughter & wife, as I liked mine just the way it is.

Mobile phones have been around longer than people think.
I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger.

Q: How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
A: He gave her a ring

Q: How did Samuel win the work talent show at the mobile phone factory?
A: Sam sung

[I have a photo somewhere of an Apple Vancouver employee badge for "Sam
Sung"]

Q: Why did Mr Potato have a mobile phone?
A: Just in case Mr Onion rings.

A man got pulled over for using his mobile phone
He explained to that it was a call from his wife, so he wasn't talking on the phone, just listening.
The cops let him go.

IÆve deleted the phone numbers of all the Germans I know from my mobile
phone.
Now it's Hans free.

The ones I liked that Lay's had were Sausage Gravy Biscuit, and Garlic Cheese Sticks. Those are long gone...I thought about getting the Dill
Pickle ones, but opted for the Funions instead. Of course, if I had
gotten the Dill Pickle Potato Chips, and some ice cream sandwiches, with eating pickles and ice cream, folks would really wonder about me (like
they aren't already) <G>.

I'd eat an ice cream sandwich that had a layer of dill pickle chips inside!

My fave as a kid was Old Duytch's Popcorn Twists (bag was 3X biugger than any other for 25c!)

Never heard of that brand.

Maybe Old Dutch is only a Canadian brand. . .

I remember the Double Bubble Gum...the only gum I chewed growing up was Juicy Fruit. With my dentures now, only Freedent won't pull the dentures out.

My wife is same, but they pulled Freedent from Canada, so we've since found a few that are good for her dentures. I got 30+ filings, so I got to be careful if agum is too sticky. . .

I remember the candy cigarettes and tiny tootsie rolls. At one time, I
had figured how how many licks it took to get to the center of a Tootsie
Pop (I think around 973).

I had lots of free time, too, but I was a reader so I never noticed. . . :D

I was going to say washing clothes, but that was lye (think Granny
from The Beverly Hillbillies). I used that when working at Burger King
to clean the grease screens in the vent hoods from the broiler and the
fry vats. And, used a variant of that in silkscreen to remove the
"ghost stain" from the previous image. But, you could not let that
sit too long on there, or the mesh would come apart. Plus, you had to
wear protective gloves and a face shield while washing it out with a
power hose, to avoid splashing that on your face or body.

I've no experience with Lye, but haveheard it is almost pure alkali, so yeah, it'll burn your skin easily, & blind you as easily.

I drink the diet green tea citrus now. I saw a peach tea today (I think from Lipton), but my icebox is full right now. Yet, with the hot weather coming, I'll be drinking 1 to 2 quarts of that every day.

I'm a coffee addict, but I do like Celestial Seasonings herbal teas for relaxing at night, on occasion.

There is one location of The Country's Best Yogurt (TCBY) in west
Little Rock. I haven't been there in a long time.

We had one, briefly, in the strip mall next door to me, but I never went. .

There's a bubble tea place in there now -- I like their avocado shakes

I hear the prices now are through the roof, especially at Whole Foods.

Yup, & the price hkes are 100% artificial (not related to higher costs at any stage from farm to store)

& the smoke ALWAYS followed the person most bothered by it!

Really.

You didn't notice this?

There was a TV dinner with Swedish Meatballs, but I haven't had that
in awhile.

I'll skip that one. Gotta go to an IKEA & eat at their in-store restaurant!

I remember those fruit cocktail deals. I saw a picture of a slice of
pizza with a piece of ham and pineapple on it. I think they call that
"the Hawaiian version".

We had the fruit cocktail on occasion ("packed in water," not syrup); my brother & I always fought overthe cherries. Now that I never eat them, they have one out: "extra cherries"

I tried a new thing for my breafast yesterday -- mango salsa (but no spice,
so I called it mango fruit salad & it was good, but not as a chip dip)

I plan, in late August early Sept, whyen the weather is hot, to get a fresh peach, apple, & mango from the local farm market, & use our electric chipper
to turn them into fruit slaw) (no dressing, just pure fruit & juice)

Maybe I'll puree a bunch of habanero peppers first, to spice up the inside of the chopper & blades, for just a hint of spicy flavour. . .

We're having a hard time getting Carolina Reaper pepper seeds to grow. . . :(

I want o staret a comnpany selling concentrated pepper juice to put in
sprayers to sprat around fences & gardens to keep critters (skunks,
squirrels, raccoons, deer) out. . .

--Then a light mineral salt brine to spray on the plants, to keep the slugs & smails away. . .

(Me reading to my five-year-old): The leopard slug eats dead plants and
fungi, but also hunts other slugs.
(Five-year-old): I'm a fun guy, so they would eat me.

Are slugs just snails that have gone through a divorce?
ôYep, she got the houseö

Q: What is a slugs favorite mode of transportation?
A: A Snailboat.

I thought IÆd try snail racing
My tactic was if I take the shells off, theyÆll be lighter and quicker,
All it did was make them a bit sluggish

Q: What do you do when you see two snails boxing?
A: Nothing, you gotta let æem slug it out.

If Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight, there would be mass confusion

A necessary part of sweet & sour chicken (one of my childhood faves)

I've always wondered why they called it that...just like sour cream.
To me, just that one adjective, turns me off.

We'd be walking through the streets on a hot summer's afternoon, get thirsty, &jus hed to the fist outdoor tap we saw, & put our moputh right on it to drink our fill (nobody knew how mamy mouths had just been on it nor how many would follow - this is why me & my crew are covid-proofed! That & wew occasionally swam in liquid sewage(Fraser River had small towns up in the Interior, dump their unprocessed seweage straight into it)

I remember drinking from the garden hose.

One comic said he cae home & his dad asked why his cap was on backwards.

"It's the style now, dad."

That's their pants...but you wonder why older men wear their pants
higher. There was a meme, where this kid asked his Mom why his Dad
was walking around with his pants down so his underwear would show.
His Mom said "Daddy will stop doing that once you do". Even if they
KNEW the meaning of what that was, they'd probably still do it.

I'm 54 now & still have no idea why anyone would care about being comfy, resting on one elbow while or after eating. . .

Or we slurp our foot or the beverage through the straw.

I seem to find a way of sneaking chocolate into movie theaters..
.. I always have a few twix up my sleeve.

At the price the theatres charge, you might as well.

I finally got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows and nuts.
I won't lie, it was a rocky road.

Some folks really love that flavor. My favorites are either
Neopolitan (chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry combined), orange
sherbert, or peach.

I sexually identify as chocolate
My pronouns are Her-She

The inquisitive sneeze: Who's She?

The Samauri Sneese: Kanitchiwa. (sp?).

Or if it's a woman handling the money, she's the Treasure-Her. <G>

Life is like a box of chocolates
It won't last long if you're obese

The Chocolate Lovers Diet. Never be more than 12 steps away from
chocolate (I have that as a QWK tagline).

HersheyÆs and Ikea have joined together to sell a chocolate pet.
Just picked up a K∩t Kaßt. Now to put it together...

Haven't had those in awhile...but they're better chilled.

So I said ôletÆs play a gameö. How many ôvansö are in vanilla ice cream? -he said ôoneö(correct)

So how many ôstrawsö are in strawberry ice cream?
He said ôoneö again (correct)

So then how many ô FÆsö are in chocolate ice cream? He said there is

no

ôFö in chocolate ice cream

I said ôExactly- THERE IS NO F IN CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM!!!

<the light comes on!>. Or like the commercial of the guy who can't
stop taking "free samples". Years ago, Sam's Club would do that (I'm
not sure if they offer that now or not), and at the Arkansas State
Fair, some vendors in the Hall Of Industry were offering free samples
of their food. My late father was sure to visit those booths. <G>

What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A chocolate baaaaa.

Wool see about that.

A Korean martial artist was giving away chocolate bars. I asked if I could have 2. He said...
"No. You can take-won-do."

Sounds like the local pest control company who says they can take care
of anything -- even karate chopping termites (their leader is Chester
T. (for Termite) Overbite). <G>

Daryl

... Have any Grey Poupon? No, you got bird poop on your vehicle.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George,

Q: How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
A: He gave her a ring

I said that to a friend a couple of years ago, saying "if I run into
computer problems, I'll give him a ring..." -- and he interrupted with
"Boy!! You're a pervert and a cheap date!! You want to go right to the
wedding and honeymoon, but you're not my type!!"...and he and his wife
were laughing raucously. My response?? "I am so red!!" :P

Q: How did Samuel win the work talent show at the mobile phone factory?
A: Sam sung

Did he get the prize for a song??

Q: Why did Mr Potato have a mobile phone?
A: Just in case Mr Onion rings.

If you hear an onion ring, please answer it.

A man got pulled over for using his mobile phone
He explained to that it was a call from his wife, so he wasn't talking
on the phone, just listening.
The cops let him go.

Really.

IÆve deleted the phone numbers of all the Germans I know from my mobile phone.
Now it's Hans free.

You can what you can Gretel.

I'd eat an ice cream sandwich that had a layer of dill pickle chips inside!

They have some wild flavor brands out there.

Maybe Old Dutch is only a Canadian brand. . .

Possibly.

My wife is same, but they pulled Freedent from Canada, so we've since found a few that are good for her dentures. I got 30+ filings, so I got
to be careful if agum is too sticky. . .

I had all my teeth removed 21 years ago...but since these dentures fit
so perfectly, I don't need any Fixodent, Poli-Grip, etc.

I've no experience with Lye, but haveheard it is almost pure alkali, so yeah, it'll burn your skin easily, & blind you as easily.

It's sodium hydroxide...nasty stuff.

We had the fruit cocktail on occasion ("packed in water," not syrup);
my brother & I always fought overthe cherries. Now that I never eat
them, they have one out: "extra cherries"

For his birthday one year, my brother got a gallon jar of Maraschino Cherries...he got burned out on them, and never ate them again.

I tried a new thing for my breafast yesterday -- mango salsa (but no spice, so I called it mango fruit salad & it was good, but not as a
chip dip)

My brother is allergic to mango skin, but he can eat mangoes.

Are slugs just snails that have gone through a divorce?
ôYep, she got the houseö

They must have had a salty conversation.

Q: What is a slugs favorite mode of transportation?
A: A Snailboat.

If it's cold in the arctic circle, is it a snowboat to China?

I thought IÆd try snail racing
My tactic was if I take the shells off, theyÆll be lighter and quicker, All it did was make them a bit sluggish

Maybe they needed jet engines. :P

Q: What do you do when you see two snails boxing?
A: Nothing, you gotta let æem slug it out.

That may take awhile...accusing each other of a salt.

If Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight, there would
be mass confusion

We should support the Metric System every inch of the way.

Daryl

... Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii??
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)

George,

Q: How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
A: He gave her a ring

I said that to a friend a couple of years ago, saying "if I run into computer problems, I'll give him a ring..." -- and he interrupted with "Boy!! You're a pervert and a cheap date!! You want to go right to the wedding and honeymoon, but you're not my type!!"...and he and his wife
were laughing raucously. My response?? "I am so red!!" :P

Nice one!

Q: How did Samuel win the work talent show at the mobile phone

factory?

A: Sam sung

Did he get the prize for a song??

Give or take. . .

Q: Why did Mr Potato have a mobile phone?
A: Just in case Mr Onion rings.

If you hear an onion ring, please answer it.

The old truism: no matter how old or tough you are, if a 2-year-old hands you
a toy telephone, you 'answer' it!

A man got pulled over for using his mobile phone
He explained to that it was a call from his wife, so he wasn't

talking

on the phone, just listening.
The cops let him go.

Really.

Not any more, with $400+ fines -- just having a phone in your reach'll get
you fined.

An old guy had a mobile in his car, in a cubby in his dash, with no signal -- he only had it on for music. Judge upheld the ticket (they're in on it, too)

IÆve deleted the phone numbers of all the Germans I know from my

mobile

phone.
Now it's Hans free.

You can what you can Gretel.

Prince Charles was visiting here in BC, Canada, in the Okanagan (top fruit
tree growing region)

He was inspecting one of the oldest orchards. He asked the farmer what they
do with such a glut of apricots?

He answered, "We eat what we can, & what we can't, we can!"

"Oh, jolly good bit of wit, that," Charles replied, trying to remember it to tell to mummy when he returns home after his tour.

When he got home, he couldn't wai t to impress mummy with the joke he'd
heard, "They have a clever saying there, mum, the farmer will consume what he is able, and the remainder they'll preserve."

Maybe Old Dutch is only a Canadian brand. . .

Possibly.

It's big in the Mid-West & New England, so maybe they gave the Piggly Wiggly
a pass. . .

For his birthday one year, my brother got a gallon jar of Maraschino Cherries...he got burned out on them, and never ate them again.

Too much of anything ruins it.

If Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight, there would be mass confusion

We should support the Metric System every inch of the way.

Yes, indeed! Give some people 2.54cm & they'll take 1.6 kilometres!

Q: Why does the metric system make so many friends with women?
A: It always wants to meter.

Americans don't like the metric system because most of them have a foot
fetish.

Adopting the metric system would help make US neighborhoods so much more livable
Under the current Imperial system, every three feet is a new yard

When Americans say ôWe donÆt use the metric system...ö
ItÆs the Imperial we.

Down with the metric system
No more foreign rulers!

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

Hi, George,

"Boy!! You're a pervert and a cheap date!! You want to go right to the wedding and honeymoon, but you're not my type!!"...and he and his wife
were laughing raucously. My response?? "I am so red!!" :P

Nice one!

I was not expecting that...talk about walking into it!!

Did he get the prize for a song??

Give or take. . .

Must've been take. Seriously, I've had 3 consecutive Samsung Galaxy phones (A10, A11, and A12) all go "tits up" on me (and it has been the same for a
lot of other folks, as well).

The old truism: no matter how old or tough you are, if a 2-year-old
hands you a toy telephone, you 'answer' it!

You better believe it!!

Not any more, with $400+ fines -- just having a phone in your reach'll
get you fined.

Yeah, talking or texting tends to anger the constabulary. If I get a call, I'll pull off the road, and put the car in park (preferably in a parking
lot). Then, I can finish the conversation at my leisure).

An old guy had a mobile in his car, in a cubby in his dash, with no
signal -- he only had it on for music. Judge upheld the ticket
(they're in on it, too)

I only listen to 3 radio stations locally...

1) News and Talk at the top of the hour for national news
2) Classical (Brahams, Mozart, Tchaikowsky, Rachmaninoff, Chopin, etc.).
3) Classic Country (George Jones, Conway Twitty, Hank Williams, Patsy Cline, Tammy Wynette, Loretta Lynn, etc.).

I've got a DVD player in the car, and have some DVD's of classical
music my late Mom listened to. But, I keep the volume low, to listen
for emergency vehicle sirens, etc.

For his birthday one year, my brother got a gallon jar of Maraschino Cherries...he got burned out on them, and never ate them again.

Too much of anything ruins it.

This is true. I still have a deal of cornbread dressing in the freezer,
that I can microwave, but it's too much to eat for one person (it's real
rich).

We should support the Metric System every inch of the way.

Yes, indeed! Give some people 2.54cm & they'll take 1.6 kilometres!

That's it!!

Q: Why does the metric system make so many friends with women?
A: It always wants to meter.

What's wild is that in both amateur radio and weather, the stuff is done
in metric...but you won't get common folk to give up the Imperial stuff.

Americans don't like the metric system because most of them have a foot fetish.

There is a town near Conway, Arkansas (about 30 miles northwest of Little Rock, which is in central Arkansas), that is also located along the Arkansas River (as Little Rock is). Well, years ago, the towboat operators of the
barges would stop at this town, and go into the taverns for refreshment. According to the locals, "they'd suck on the bottles of booze, until they swelled up like toads"...so the town got the name "Toad Suck". They have
a big 3 day festival in downtown Conway each spring, called Toad Suck Daze, with rides, shows, etc. -- like a county fair...and many of the downtown
Conway streets are closed for it. It was canceled last year because of COVID-19.

At a singles square dance one year, these girls thought I said "Toe Suck".
I had to EXPLAIN the legend to them...and what it actually was. I told them
to "look it up" on the internet. When the weather is good, the economic
benefit to the city of Conway is HUGE.

The one "Safety Issue" is that the VERY BUSY Union Pacific Railroad Van Buren Subdivision between Van Buren, Arkansas (just east of Fort Smith)
and North Little Rock, Arkansas (where Union Pacific has a big maintenance shop and classification yard), runs right through downtown Conway. So,
many volunteers from Operation Lifesaver, man the grade crossings (which
all have lights, bells, and gates) to be sure people don't try to beat
the trains across, like the cars usually do. Even though the trains likely
have "a slow order" to get through town during the event, some folks are
just "too impatient".

Daryl

... Bad Day: Your Income Tax Refund Check Bounces.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)

I only listen to 3 radio stations locally...

I get bored & annoyed at the DJ banter & ads on local radio, so I use
Accuradio app on my phone or site on my desktop while working or playing. . .

I get to pick any decade, any genre (1950s radio comedy is fun, Mixed in with best of the 1970s (all genres, mixed)

I've got a DVD player in the car, and have some DVD's of classical
music my late Mom listened to. But, I keep the volume low, to listen
for emergency vehicle sirens, etc.

As the law requiresd it, but so many are scoffaws & then wonder why when they get arrested, their head always raps hard on the roof of the police cruiser, even though they tried to duck(as instructed bu the kindly officer). . .

Couple good ol' boys got pulled over in Texas.

The officer raps on the driv er's side window, after all have stopped. The driver rolls it down, only to get a baton to the noggin, hard. "Why, what?"
he sputtered to the cop.

"When you get pulled over by a Texas Ranger, son," answered Mr. Dunlop (his elly done lp over his belt!), "You'd best have your window rolled down, ready to hear what he has to say. Remember that."

Then he moseyed over to the passenmger side, raps on the window. Passenger rolls it down & get thumped on his head, "Just givin' you your wish, son," he drawled.

"Wha? What wish?!" croed ut the hurting lad.

"Two, three miles down the road there, you'll turn to your buddy here & say,
"I wished that b****** had tried that s*** with ME!"

Too much of anything ruins it.

This is true. I still have a deal of cornbread dressing in the freezer, that I can microwave, but it's too much to eat for one person (it's real rich).

My philosophy is "moderation in all things, including(especially) in
moderation itself."

There is a town near Conway, Arkansas (about 30 miles northwest of

Little

Rock, which is in central Arkansas), that is also located along the

Arkansas

River (as Little Rock is). Well, years ago, the towboat operators of the barges would stop at this town, and go into the taverns for refreshment. According to the locals, "they'd suck on the bottles of booze, until they swelled up like toads"...so the town got the name "Toad Suck". They have
a big 3 day festival in downtown Conway each spring, called Toad Suck

Daze,

with rides, shows, etc. -- like a county fair...and many of the downtown Conway streets are closed for it. It was canceled last year because of COVID-19.

Dang covid has cabnceled so may fun events! We have the biggest Canada Day party here in my town every year on 1 July, except the past two. . .:P I
looked forward, vainly, to the grilled salmon. . .

At a singles square dance one year, these girls thought I said "Toe

Suck".

I had to EXPLAIN the legend to them...and what it actually was. I told

them

to "look it up" on the internet. When the weather is good, the economic benefit to the city of Conway is HUGE.

I'd've prolly said something like, "Good to know where your mind's a this steamy summer evening, ladies" then I'd tip my hat to them, with a saucy
wink. . .

The one "Safety Issue" is that the VERY BUSY Union Pacific Railroad Van Buren Subdivision between Van Buren, Arkansas (just east of Fort Smith)
and North Little Rock, Arkansas (where Union Pacific has a big maintenance shop and classification yard), runs right through downtown Conway. So,
many volunteers from Operation Lifesaver, man the grade crossings (which
all have lights, bells, and gates) to be sure people don't try to beat
the trains across, like the cars usually do. Even though the trains likely have "a slow order" to get through town during the event, some folks are just "too impatient".

People are crazy: racing a beast weighing many tonnes, whose inertia gives it an effective stopping time of about a mile right through & on past you. . .

Thesde people assume that a prpofessional like a bus, truick, or train
drivcer, knows how to respond quickly in an emergency. (they DO, but none of that skill will save you if you're within the min stopping distance for their speed & weight!)

In my hitching era, I was riding up high ni a truck through the Rockies; I
kept seeing cars (not 1 or 2, but most) skittering towards us in our lane.

I asked, "Aren't you going to sweve to avoid hitting them?"

He replied that if he did, he'd jackknife & likely go over the mile-long drop on our left. He said, he'd risk it if he saw a child in the car, as no child should have to die just because his daddy's an idiot.

He emphasized he's going the appropriate speed for the weather & road conditionsd & keeping steady in his rightful lane.

He pointed out that we would barely know it if we hit a car. I calmed down then & enjoyed the steady trip down the mountains in -60 & half blizzard
speed winds. . .

Seemed fair & reasonable for adults to expect other adults made adult
decisions and are fine with the natural consequences of those choices.

Now I know, & you do, too, I'm guessing, know that just ain't so. . .

& they expect this drive to deprive his famly of a
husband/father/dad/provider so they can do anything they please regardless of road conditions & driving rules. :(

I named my daughter Inertia
When she grows up she'll be unstoppable.

My theory on inertia
Has never gained momentum


"Speed" (1994) incorrectly credits Jan de Bont as director. Speed did not
have a director, because if Speed had any direction it would have been called "Velocity."

Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
It went OK.

If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, theyÆd be alloys.

The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with
air.
The realist nows it's neither -- it's been evaporating during the debsate.
A mother only sees a dirty glass left out instead of having been put in the sink, as instructed.

My dad's view is the optimist sees it as half empty, because he knows he can have it refilled, but the pessimist, with a half full glass, that's all he's getting!

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George,

I get bored & annoyed at the DJ banter & ads on local radio, so I use Accuradio app on my phone or site on my desktop while working or
playing. . .

I get to pick any decade, any genre (1950s radio comedy is fun, Mixed
in with best of the 1970s (all genres, mixed)

There is an app for iHeart Radio, but to get rid of all the ads, you
had to pay a certain fee per month. Right now, my finances are tighter
than a frog's butt underwater. :P

I've got a DVD player in the car, and have some DVD's of classical
music my late Mom listened to. But, I keep the volume low, to listen
for emergency vehicle sirens, etc.

As the law requiresd it, but so many are scoffaws & then wonder why
when they get arrested, their head always raps hard on the roof of the police cruiser, even though they tried to duck(as instructed bu the
kindly officer). . .

I nearly flunked first grade because I couldn't follow directions.
Today, so many think others are so stupid...that they themselves "know everything". As kids growing up, we thought we were smarter than our parents...but then found out, we didn't know diddly squat. :P

"When you get pulled over by a Texas Ranger, son," answered Mr. Dunlop (his elly done lp over his belt!), "You'd best have your window rolled down, ready to hear what he has to say. Remember that."

The voice of authority. <G>

My philosophy is "moderation in all things, including(especially) in moderation itself."

Does that include echo moderators?? <G>

Dang covid has cabnceled so may fun events! We have the biggest Canada Day party here in my town every year on 1 July, except the past two. .
.:P I looked forward, vainly, to the grilled salmon. . .

My late Mom would buy the cans of salmon at the store, and cook up
salmon patties for dinner, served with peas and gravy. Please excuse me
while I drool. :P

I'd've prolly said something like, "Good to know where your mind's a
this steamy summer evening, ladies" then I'd tip my hat to them, with a saucy wink. . .

Sort of like the song Toby Keith did, "As Good As I Once Was". These 2
girls (twin sisters) in this bar are talking to this cowboy, saying that
"that they're feeling kind of wild tonight", and "if you're up for a rodeo, we'll put a smile on your face". Nowadays, I'd be afraid at what I might
catch from a one night stand. In that regard, it reminds me of a joke where
a guy said "I had a one night stand. It looked lonely, so I bought another
one just like it". <G>

People are crazy: racing a beast weighing many tonnes, whose inertia
gives it an effective stopping time of about a mile right through & on past you. . .

One locomotive weighs 300 tons. Most vehicles weigh 1 to 2 tons. It takes
far more inertia to stop something moving than it does to start it. By the
time the engineer sees you, and puts the train into "the big hole" of
emergency stop, all he can do is "watch you die"...as it'll take 1 to 3
miles to bring that train to a stop. The law of physics wins every time.
In a poem The Good Lord gave me, "No One Asks The Engineer", I note this:

Had I been the engineer on the train that day.
And, if you had asked me how I felt, here is what I'd say.

There was no way that I could stop; or out of the way, swerve.
They ran a red light at a crossing, and got what they deserved.

Danny Harmon, of Distant Signal Productions (he has a ton of excellent railroad videos on YouTube) notes in his series on how to read the CSX
signals, talking about one type of signals known as ABSOLUTE. These note
that the engineer or train is NOT to pass the signal, unless given
permission by the dispatcher.

Danny continues with "The railroad doesn't play around here. Passing an absolute red signal can get a crew fired, or relieved immediately. And, passing an absolute red signal can lead to a massive train wreck". When
he was talking, the video showed a thunderstorm approaching the former Lakeland, Florida passenger depot. Right as he said "Passing an absolute
red signal can get a crew fired", there was a close lightning strike...
talk about effect!! :)

Thesde people assume that a prpofessional like a bus, truick, or train drivcer, knows how to respond quickly in an emergency. (they DO, but
none of that skill will save you if you're within the min stopping distance for their speed & weight!)

Christian Comedian Mark Lowery told of his motorcycle wreck in Houston, Texas several years ago...noting that "There's a Stupid Law in Texas. If you're stupid enough to ride your motorcycle without a helmet, you're
asking for trouble". Whether you have a helmet on or not, when it is "your time", with or without protection, that's it. As the country song "Don't Blink", notes "When the hourglass runs out of sand, you can't turn it over
and start again". Somebody pulled out in front of him, and he ended up shattering the bones in his right leg from the knee down. When he got to
the part about being put into the ambulance, things really got interesting:

"You folks need to know this!! When they put me into the ambulance, they
cut my britches off!! And, you know what?? Your Momma was right!!". That brought a huge scream and raucous laughter, then he said "Always!!
Clean Underwear!!" <BG>.

Of course, the medical professionals have seen more breasts, genitalia,
and buttocks that we'll ever see in our lifetime, that nudity means
nothing to them. But, a friend of mine would NOT go to the doctor or
hospital, as he didn't want to be seen naked. I couldn't convince him
that "it's not like they haven't seen it before"...in this case, "size
does NOT matter".

I had a female nurse practitioner "work me over" at the urologist
yesterday. I thought they were more "gentle", but it was a bit more uncomfortable than I was expecting. :P

However, no sign of prostate cancer, no sugar in the urine, no kidney
stones since early last year (since I've quit drinking soda, and drink
diet green tea citrus exclusively, up to a half gallon a day), but I
have to resume shots for low testosterone (the male version of female menopause)...and left untreated, that can cause cardiovascular and
diabetes issues. My A1C has always been (from what I recall) between
5.7 and 6.1 -- the threshold for type 2 diabetes is 6.4 -- it was 5.9
two weeks ago. The cholesterol and triglycerides were abnormal (as they usually are), but all the rest of the blood work was normal.

He emphasized he's going the appropriate speed for the weather & road conditions & keeping steady in his rightful lane.

I think a lot of drivers now got their license from a box of Cracker
Jack. :P

He pointed out that we would barely know it if we hit a car. I calmed down then & enjoyed the steady trip down the mountains in -60 & half blizzard speed winds. . .

I still don't like to drive when the weather is bad...even on a windy
day. I've seen what the winds do to these tractor trailers.

Seemed fair & reasonable for adults to expect other adults made adult decisions and are fine with the natural consequences of those choices.

It'd be a better world. It's like folks don't want to be held accountable
for their actions, whether they break the law or not. But, all of us have a date in "The Supreme Court Of The Universe" one day...and Perry Mason will
not be able to help us.

Now I know, & you do, too, I'm guessing, know that just ain't so. . .

& they expect this drive to deprive his famly of a husband/father/dad/provider so they can do anything they please
regardless of road conditions & driving rules. :(

Or they think they'll be invincible, and nothing will happen to them.
To me, you're just asking for it.

I named my daughter Inertia
When she grows up she'll be unstoppable.

N. Ertia, eh?? Does she know L. Armclock and N. Somnia?? The latter two
are trying to destroy my relationship with Sleep -- they're a bunch of
jealous whores. :P

My theory on inertia
Has never gained momentum

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again??

"Speed" (1994) incorrectly credits Jan de Bont as director. Speed did
not have a director, because if Speed had any direction it would have
been called "Velocity."

That was a suspenseful movie...my heart was in my throat. :P There was another one made years ago (you can find it on YouTube) called "Runaway".
A ski train coming down the side of the mountain in Colorado loses its
brakes, and is increasing in speed as gravity takes over. It miraculously
stays on the tracks at a sharp curve...and another engineer in a diesel,
comes up behind the runaway train, couples onto the last car, and hits
the brakes. It stopped less than 1/4 mile from the dead end track bumper.

Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
It went OK.

Those potassium pills are huge...I've had to cut them up, or dissolve
them in water, as I've nearly choked on them...and no amount of gin would
have helped...oxygen or nitrogen. :P

If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, theyÆd be alloys.

That's like lerts...we need more lerts, so you need to be alert.

The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half
with air.
The realist nows it's neither -- it's been evaporating during the
debsate. A mother only sees a dirty glass left out instead of having
been put in the sink, as instructed.

Exactly. Or as W.C. Fields noted:

"Someone left the cork out of my lunch".
"Inflation has gone up over a dollar a quart".
"I never drink water. Fish [have sex] in it".

My dad's view is the optimist sees it as half empty, because he knows
he can have it refilled, but the pessimist, with a half full glass,
that's all he's getting!

Several years ago, they were charging an extra tax to restaurants (no
more refills), and that went over like a lead balloon. I don't remember
the reason why they instituted it in the first place. If I'm going to
eat out (which is rare anymore, as I can't afford it), I want to get
free refills...even if it's on iced tea.

Daryl

... I'm Smorgas-Borg: Starving is futile.
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There is an app for iHeart Radio, but to get rid of all the ads, you
had to pay a certain fee per month. Right now, my finances are tighter
than a frog's butt underwater. :P

Accuradio has far fewer ads than regular AM/FM radio. Quite rerasonable & I get enough music (of exacrtly what I want) to overshadow them nicely.

I nearly flunked first grade because I couldn't follow directions.
Today, so many think others are so stupid...that they themselves "know everything". As kids growing up, we thought we were smarter than our parents...but then found out, we didn't know diddly squat. :P

You might've had a partial hearing deficiency, especially if lower notes &
your teacher was male -- I had trouble with male terachers (either hearing or ego clashes--thery thought they were smarter than me =-- I KNEW I was the smarter one! (in many cases I really was)

The only one I reespected as being intelligent was a class-0A jerk to all, so we had our problems. . .

"When you get pulled over by a Texas Ranger, son," answered Mr.

Dunlop

(his elly done lp over his belt!), "You'd best have your window

rolled

down, ready to hear what he has to say. Remember that."

The voice of authority. <G>

My dad taught me that the only real authority is God & He grants some of His
to parents, who grant an even more limited authority, through democracy, to government, judges, & cops doing their job(an important qualifier); I teach
my son the same.

Teachers need to be only exercising their claimed authority in accordance
with ine & with that of the duly elected school board.

Cops need to exercise their presumed authority in accordance with the laws passed by duly elected legislators.

& all must exercise only the authority God grants to us humans.

Claiming to know better & have more authority than God never ends well (ask Nebuchadnezzar & John Lennon)

My philosophy is "moderation in all things, including(especially) in moderation itself."

Does that include echo moderators?? <G>

Oh, of course!

I preach: Practice moderation in eating habits, including a moderate level of indulging, & moderation in activity (natural everyday activity, not "gym
time" and after 6 months you'll be at your ideal weight. You just need to accept it & be pleased.

I'm a hypocrit, of course, as I'm human -- I'm definitely obese; by the grace of God I'm not yet diabetic, but I'm well aware of the dangers there.

I'm trying to bring it down, even if only to make climbing the stairs not so near to a life or death activity. . .

My wife & I agree: we don't want her collercting on the life insurance quite yet . . . (she SAYS so, but. . . *LOL* J/King)

My late Mom would buy the cans of salmon at the store, and cook up
salmon patties for dinner, served with peas and gravy. Please excuse me while I drool. :P

Not for me -- I prefer real, fresh caught, wild Pacific Sockeye salmon, when
I can find some affordably. & I just don't eat peas.

Sort of like the song Toby Keith did, "As Good As I Once Was". These 2 girls (twin sisters) in this bar are talking to this cowboy, saying that "that they're feeling kind of wild tonight", and "if you're up for a

rodeo,

we'll put a smile on your face". Nowadays, I'd be afraid at what I might catch from a one night stand. In that regard, it reminds me of a joke

where

a guy said "I had a one night stand. It looked lonely, so I bought another one just like it". <G>

I've been known to say, "I'm not as good as I once was, but I'm as good once
as I ever was."

Like the difference between Fear & Panic, for men:

FEAR: first time you can't do it a second time.
PANIC: second time you can't do it a first time.

People are crazy: racing a beast weighing many tonnes, whose inertia gives it an effective stopping time of about a mile right through &

on

past you. . .

One locomotive weighs 300 tons. Most vehicles weigh 1 to 2 tons.

I'm talking semi trucks, with fully loaded trailers.

My brother was crossing in a city intersection on the green when he got t- boned by a full garbage truck coming down a long steep hill at full speed, no brakes.

My bro was in his first car -- a $250(in 1984) 11-passenger all-steel station wagon, & stepped out of his car to see what happened, lit a smoke &
approached the other driver to get insurance details. The garbage truck
driver assumed he, so unmussed & unfazed, & casually smoking, must have been
in the area & asked if he(my bro) saw what happened (in his mind, nobody
could be alive in the car he hit!); he was shocked to learn my brother had
been in it! (Grace of God, man. . .)

A blitz of punnish miscellany:

It really grinds my gears when people say stick-shift is obsolete.

Most people like their music bass-boosted, but it seems like too much treble.

When an astronaut drinks tea, he takes a big space-sip.

The best electricity puns are live wires. Coppers really donÆt know how to resist these in a coil. If you make enough of this type of pun you can really blow their fuses. You need to be smart about how you conduct these so you
donÆt overload your capacitors.

The only kind of rap I like is the wrapping paper on gifts.

Scissors always cut to the point.

Airplane puns always fly overhead. You have to be careful so you donÆt stall out. Always use better judgement so you nose how to dive. When used
correctly, this pun classification can really propel to infinity and beyond. However, if misused, the fall from grace is full of turbulence.

When working with electricity puns always make sure to be grounded to prevent shocking results.

Mr. Tea says, öDonÆt be a fool, stay in school!ö

i c e i c e w a t e r

Architecture is an aspiring career path.

æPunÆ puns donÆt add up. The are starting to get negative receptions.

IÆll do algebra. IÆll even do calculus. But graphing is where I draw the
line.

Plants should always rooted in the ground.

Never argue with people when they are right or nobody will be left hanging
out with you.

Rocks make boulder moves. This means they are pelite and not jagged. DonÆt
take these puns for granite.

Cheese puns are grate because you donÆt have to ask for parmesan to use them.

Eskimos have cold personality. It is an ice society, but some of their
history chills my spine.

My dog died a few years ago. It was really ruff.

I am not a fan of wind turbines.

Life is like driftwood. You never know where you will float.

Christmas lights stick together. When one goes out, they all do.

Puns about communism are only funny if everyone gets them.

Rocket scientists cannot fuel around or something bad can happen.

A baker is someone who kneads to make baked goods.

I sometimes wear stripes to avoid being spotted.

Sponges are great at absorbing liquids.

Contrary to the name, relationships have nothing to do with boats.
It takes

far more inertia to stop something moving than it does to start it. By the time the engineer sees you, and puts the train into "the big hole" of emergency stop, all he can do is "watch you die"...as it'll take 1 to 3 miles to bring that train to a stop. The law of physics wins every time.
In a poem The Good Lord gave me, "No One Asks The Engineer", I note this:

Had I been the engineer on the train that day.
And, if you had asked me how I felt, here is what I'd say.

There was no way that I could stop; or out of the way, swerve.
They ran a red light at a crossing, and got what they deserved.

Danny Harmon, of Distant Signal Productions (he has a ton of excellent railroad videos on YouTube) notes in his series on how to read the CSX signals, talking about one type of signals known as ABSOLUTE. These note that the engineer or train is NOT to pass the signal, unless given permission by the dispatcher.

Danny continues with "The railroad doesn't play around here. Passing an absolute red signal can get a crew fired, or relieved immediately. And, passing an absolute red signal can lead to a massive train wreck". When
he was talking, the video showed a thunderstorm approaching the former Lakeland, Florida passenger depot. Right as he said "Passing an absolute
red signal can get a crew fired", there was a close lightning strike...
talk about effect!! :)

Thesde people assume that a prpofessional like a bus, truick, or

train

drivcer, knows how to respond quickly in an emergency. (they DO, but none of that skill will save you if you're within the min stopping distance for their speed & weight!)

Christian Comedian Mark Lowery told of his motorcycle wreck in Houston, Texas several years ago...noting that "There's a Stupid Law in Texas. If you're stupid enough to ride your motorcycle without a helmet, you're
asking for trouble". Whether you have a helmet on or not, when it is "your time", with or without protection, that's it. As the country song "Don't Blink", notes "When the hourglass runs out of sand, you can't turn it over and start again". Somebody pulled out in front of him, and he ended up shattering the bones in his right leg from the knee down. When he got to
the part about being put into the ambulance, things really got

interesting:

"You folks need to know this!! When they put me into the ambulance, they
cut my britches off!! And, you know what?? Your Momma was right!!". That brought a huge scream and raucous laughter, then he said "Always!!
Clean Underwear!!" <BG>.

Of course, the medical professionals have seen more breasts, genitalia, and buttocks that we'll ever see in our lifetime, that nudity means
nothing to them. But, a friend of mine would NOT go to the doctor or hospital, as he didn't want to be seen naked. I couldn't convince him
that "it's not like they haven't seen it before"...in this case, "size
does NOT matter".

I had a female nurse practitioner "work me over" at the urologist yesterday. I thought they were more "gentle", but it was a bit more uncomfortable than I was expecting. :P

However, no sign of prostate cancer, no sugar in the urine, no kidney stones since early last year (since I've quit drinking soda, and drink
diet green tea citrus exclusively, up to a half gallon a day), but I
have to resume shots for low testosterone (the male version of female menopause)...and left untreated, that can cause cardiovascular and
diabetes issues. My A1C has always been (from what I recall) between
5.7 and 6.1 -- the threshold for type 2 diabetes is 6.4 -- it was 5.9
two weeks ago. The cholesterol and triglycerides were abnormal (as they usually are), but all the rest of the blood work was normal.

He emphasized he's going the appropriate speed for the weather & road conditions & keeping steady in his rightful lane.

I think a lot of drivers now got their license from a box of Cracker
Jack. :P

He pointed out that we would barely know it if we hit a car. I

calmed

down then & enjoyed the steady trip down the mountains in -60 & half blizzard speed winds. . .

I still don't like to drive when the weather is bad...even on a windy
day. I've seen what the winds do to these tractor trailers.

Seemed fair & reasonable for adults to expect other adults made adult decisions and are fine with the natural consequences of those

choices.

It'd be a better world. It's like folks don't want to be held

accountable

for their actions, whether they break the law or not. But, all of us have

a

date in "The Supreme Court Of The Universe" one day...and Perry Mason will not be able to help us.

Now I know, & you do, too, I'm guessing, know that just ain't so. . .

& they expect this drive to deprive his famly of a husband/father/dad/provider so they can do anything they please regardless of road conditions & driving rules. :(

Or they think they'll be invincible, and nothing will happen to them.
To me, you're just asking for it.

I named my daughter Inertia
When she grows up she'll be unstoppable.

N. Ertia, eh?? Does she know L. Armclock and N. Somnia?? The latter two are trying to destroy my relationship with Sleep -- they're a bunch of jealous whores. :P

My theory on inertia
Has never gained momentum

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again??

"Speed" (1994) incorrectly credits Jan de Bont as director. Speed

did

not have a director, because if Speed had any direction it would have been called "Velocity."

That was a suspenseful movie...my heart was in my throat. :P There was another one made years ago (you can find it on YouTube) called "Runaway".
A ski train coming down the side of the mountain in Colorado loses its brakes, and is increasing in speed as gravity takes over. It miraculously stays on the tracks at a sharp curve...and another engineer in a diesel, comes up behind the runaway train, couples onto the last car, and hits
the brakes. It stopped less than 1/4 mile from the dead end track bumper.

Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
It went OK.

Those potassium pills are huge...I've had to cut them up, or dissolve
them in water, as I've nearly choked on them...and no amount of gin would have helped...oxygen or nitrogen. :P

If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, theyÆd be alloys.

That's like lerts...we need more lerts, so you need to be alert.

The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.
The realist nows it's neither -- it's been evaporating during the debsate. A mother only sees a dirty glass left out instead of having been put in the sink, as instructed.

Exactly. Or as W.C. Fields noted:

"Someone left the cork out of my lunch".
"Inflation has gone up over a dollar a quart".
"I never drink water. Fish [have sex] in it".

My dad's view is the optimist sees it as half empty, because he knows he can have it refilled, but the pessimist, with a half full glass, that's all he's getting!

Several years ago, they were charging an extra tax to restaurants (no
more refills), and that went over like a lead balloon. I don't remember
the reason why they instituted it in the first place. If I'm going to
eat out (which is rare anymore, as I can't afford it), I want to get
free refills...even if it's on iced tea.

Daryl

... I'm Smorgas-Borg: Starving is futile.
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Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
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George,

You might've had a partial hearing deficiency, especially if lower
notes & your teacher was male -- I had trouble with male terachers
(either hearing or ego clashes--thery thought they were smarter than me =-- I KNEW I was the smarter one! (in many cases I really was)

I don't think I had a male teacher (except for physical education) until
high school.

Everyone...humans and animals...have selected hearing. When your spouse
or significant other wants you to do something...or you yell a command to
your dog or cat. When you mention "a treat", they come running. <G>

My dad taught me that the only real authority is God & He grants some
of His to parents, who grant an even more limited authority, through democracy, to government, judges, & cops doing their job(an important qualifier); I teach my son the same.

True. He's The One Who Made The Rules, and so many in the world today
have a conniption (sp?) fit with that. Well, on Judgment Day, Perry Mason
won't be able to help these folks.

Claiming to know better & have more authority than God never ends well (ask Nebuchadnezzar & John Lennon)

In the comic strip Crock, they noted this Sphinx like structure, they
called Ne-boo-kon-eezer. <G> It was centered around a Foreign Legion post,
and one day, the commander was coming around, apparently in repentant tears, apologizing for all the mean things he had done, and that he'd change his
ways. In the last frame, the chef says "No soup for a week...someone stole
all of our onions". <G>

I'm a hypocrit, of course, as I'm human -- I'm definitely obese; by the grace of God I'm not yet diabetic, but I'm well aware of the dangers there.

Same here. But, I believe in the balanced diet...in the belly and in the
butt cheeks. <G> My favorite on that is from a skit the late Red Skelton told...I may have shared this before, but it's still funny.

He said that one day, his wife was telling him was getting "a bit round around the edges", and she admonished him "if you don't lose weight, I'm
going to make you wear one of my girdles".

Admidst audience laughter, Red lamented "I know what you dear ladies go through". He said his wife didn't say anything else to him...and he walked
into the bathroom, and found this thing on the door.

He goes into this pantomime about putting it on like a diaper. He is
sweating like a horse under the hot stage lights, and the entire audience
is roaring in laughter. His wife walks in and demands "What in the world
are you doing??!!". Out of breath, he says "OK, honey. You win. I'll lose weight"...and she screams "You take off my hot water bottle!!" <BG>.

I'm trying to bring it down, even if only to make climbing the stairs
not so near to a life or death activity. . .

I hate steps and stairs. Those on the Amtrak Superliners are very narrow
and hard to get up and down.

My wife & I agree: we don't want her collercting on the life insurance quite yet . . . (she SAYS so, but. . . *LOL* J/King)

Be glad she didn't read that. <G>

Not for me -- I prefer real, fresh caught, wild Pacific Sockeye salmon, when I can find some affordably. & I just don't eat peas.

I prefer the English peas...and have some microwave peas and carrots in
the freezer, along with some chicken nuggets. I might make that for lunch
today or dinner tonight...and take a break from lunch meat sandwiches. I'm staying at home, and not going out, unless I have to. If there's "junk mail"
in the Post Office Box, I let it sit there.

I've been known to say, "I'm not as good as I once was, but I'm as good once as I ever was."

You've heard the song, then. <G>

Like the difference between Fear & Panic, for men:

FEAR: first time you can't do it a second time.
PANIC: second time you can't do it a first time.

Really.

I'm talking semi trucks, with fully loaded trailers.

I heard of a truck hauling things like spaghetti, lasgna, etc. It got
stuck on a railroad crossing, and got T-boned by a train, scattering
the cargo everywhere. The meme noted "Garfield is livid with rage". <G>

My brother was crossing in a city intersection on the green when he got
t- boned by a full garbage truck coming down a long steep hill at full speed, no brakes.

Bummer.

It really grinds my gears when people say stick-shift is obsolete.

There was a carjacking incident here recently. The thug forced the driver
out of the car at an intersection (the thug had a gun), so the driver complied. But, the driver had the last laugh...the car was not automatic transmission, but manual (stick-shift). After only a couple of blocks, the
thug stopped the car, got out, and ran off. The driver called the police
to report it, so they could get fingerprints, etc. -- then, he got in the
car and drove away. <G>

There is a move in square dancing (one of my other hobbies) called "Slip
The Clutch". It basically means drop your hands with the dancer you have a
hold of, and step forward. I thought that's what I'd do to my late father's 1963 Volkswagen...I knew how to work it, but never got coordinated enough
to do so (shifting gears).

Most people like their music bass-boosted, but it seems like too much treble.

Some of these cars have the bass so maxed out, that it shakes their
vehicle, and every other vehicle near it...that you'd think an earthquake
was in progress.

When an astronaut drinks tea, he takes a big space-sip.

Tang it!! <G>

The best electricity puns are live wires. Coppers really donÆt know how
to resist these in a coil. If you make enough of this type of pun you
can really blow their fuses. You need to be smart about how you conduct these so you donÆt overload your capacitors.

But, they are all female, and you better resistor, as the relationship
can be shocking. <G>

The only kind of rap I like is the wrapping paper on gifts.

Years ago, this ventriloquist had a "dummy" named "Shotgun Red" (I don't remember the name of the ventriloquist. Anyway, I saw him at a show, and he said "You know what I think of rap music?? Put a "C" in front of it!!". I couldn't have said it better. I think "is the tribal beat and the constant profanity the only things they understand??". It's as if they want to remain uneducated.

Scissors always cut to the point.

That was a very cutting truth, no other way to slice it.

Airplane puns always fly overhead. You have to be careful so you donÆt stall out. Always use better judgement so you nose how to dive. When
used correctly, this pun classification can really propel to infinity
and beyond. However, if misused, the fall from grace is full of turbulence.

It's not the fall out of a plane, or the plane plunging to the ground
that kills you. It's the sudden stop at the end.

When working with electricity puns always make sure to be grounded to prevent shocking results.

Voltage: How old the electricity in your line is.

Mr. Tea says, "DonÆt be a fool, stay in school!"

It reminds me of the sequence from the movie "End Of The Line", filmed
back in the 1980's (much of it in Arkansas). The exchange was with the 2 grizzled railroaders who had lost their jobs (the son-in-law of the now chairman of the board, was converting the company from railroad to air
freight. The son-in-law hated trains...his father-in-law loved them).

Anyway, the exchange went like this:

Leo: You know, Haney?? I was taking a shower the other day, and I was
trying to remember The Pledge Of Allegiance. You know, the American one??
And, hell!! I couldn't get it to come to me.

Haney: Well sir, grade school was a long time ago.

Leo: Yes, sir. That's what kept me out of high school.

I heard one Arkansas film historian note "you can't get any more
Arkansas than that". In fact, the Looney Tunes cartoon, "Hillbilly
Hare", had Bugs Bunny in the Arkansas Ozarks...and he ends up
calling a square dance, and has the 2 hillbillies who were after
him, to beat the crap out of each other. The director, Chuck Jones,
was at one time, a square dance caller, and he was also the Grand
Marshall at the first National Square Dance Convention in Riverside,
California in 1951.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m9SrXRNPRCA

(Lyrics included in case it's hard to understand).

i c e i c e w a t e r

"I don't drink water. Fish [have sex] in it". - W.C. Fields

IÆll do algebra. IÆll even do calculus. But graphing is where I draw
the line.

Algebra is what the little mermaid wears.

Plants should always rooted in the ground.

Just don't have a dachshund did the hole for you...he'll make it
too big.

Never argue with people when they are right or nobody will be left
hanging out with you.

So many feel that:

1) I may not always be right, but I'm never wrong.
2) I may be wrong, but I doubt it.
3) I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken.

Rocks make boulder moves. This means they are pelite and not jagged.
DonÆt take these puns for granite.

You have a stoned personality.

Cheese puns are grate because you donÆt have to ask for parmesan to use them.

It's not easy being Cheesy...just ask Chester Cheetah. :P

Eskimos have cold personality. It is an ice society, but some of their history chills my spine.

If they sit on the ice too long, they get Polaroids.

My dog died a few years ago. It was really ruff.

I've got a rock garden. Last week, 3 of them died.

I am not a fan of wind turbines.

You can get blown away otherwise.

Life is like driftwood. You never know where you will float.

I've got a big piece of driftwood in the living room above the
piano. I haven't played it in years, and I'm sure it's out of tune.

Christmas lights stick together. When one goes out, they all do.

That's for sure...then, it takes forever to find the bad bulb.

Puns about communism are only funny if everyone gets them.

Just don't air your dirty Lenin in public.

Rocket scientists cannot fuel around or something bad can happen.

Then, it's not rocket science.

A baker is someone who kneads to make baked goods.

That's because they knead the dough.

I sometimes wear stripes to avoid being spotted.

Ted: I keep seeing spots before my eyes.
Red: Have you seen a doctor??
Ted: No, just spots.

Sponges are great at absorbing liquids.

For a real sponge cake, borrow all the ingredients.

Contrary to the name, relationships have nothing to do with boats.

Too many of them are shipwrecked by the simplest things.

Daryl

... To the guy who invented zero: Thanks for nothing
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I don't think I had a male teacher (except for physical education) until high school.

My elementary school expwerimented with a quasi middle school, as a prep gfor high school -- the 3 classes (5-7) had a focuds subjcect each & a teacher who tauight that subjerct for all 3 (grade 5 was the male principal, for Socials, grtade 6 was a weird man who was into science, 7 was a very nice lady into english/literature. Grade 5 regular teacher was a woman into creative
writing -- I loved her & it went both ways -- academically speaking only, of course)

In grade 5 we had to do a presentation project; I took earthworms & created a full displsay including storyboards & blown up scale samples. In grade 7, to keep my challenged, I was given the top 6 grade 4s to teach a class on science(earthwoprms); I had full carte blanche over curriculum & marking --
my grade would become part of their grade 4 reppoirt card!

Oh, it was FUN! The boys' favorite part was the dissections; guess what was
the girls' least favorite part of the 4-month onxce-weekly course?

I graded classwork, essays, & exams, all of which I prepared & presented just like a real teacher (I likely didn't get paid too much less(at $0) than real teachers!)

Everyone...humans and animals...have selected hearing. When your spouse
or significant other wants you to do something...or you yell a command to your dog or cat. When you mention "a treat", they come running. <G>

More that our hearing is imperfect but high emotion keywords(like our own
name) stand out.

I don't pretend bnot to hear sometghing just because I don't want to acknowledge the speaker/topic, because that, to me, is dishonest, & I'm going the other way with my life now.

My dad taught me that the only real authority is God & He grants some of His to parents, who grant an even more limited authority, through democracy, to government, judges, & cops doing their job(an important qualifier); I teach my son the same.

True. He's The One Who Made The Rules, and so many in the world today
have a conniption (sp?) fit with that. Well, on Judgment Day, Perry Mason won't be able to help these folks.

True dat! I picture the traditional scales of justice withg two categories filing up as the story of one's life scrolls past:
L) making the world a worse place for others.
R) making the world a better place for others.

The laws & rules are given to us that we may LIVE!!!

My dad, in teaching me, with belt as needed, to respect his aithority
permitted me to live -- else I'd've been like most of my peers -- dead by cop or involvement in bad things/people. Yup, the rules are so we may LIVE, &
live abundantly!

I don't truy to live a champagne & caviar lifestyle on my Beer & Hamburger budgfet, but I do look ast my beer & hamburger & thank God for allowing me to live so richly! I wouldn't trade it for any of Robin Leach's rich showcase's life!

I am rich! (techn ically, "wealthy" but I like that just fine)

When the US first conceptualized the $100 bill they were thinking of putting the face of Jesus, as his ability to come back to life was greater than any wealth.
It would've been the '1 undead dollar' bill.

A genie granted me one wish. I wanted to be rich, but didn't want to deal
with the IRS and decided I wanted wealth as I needed it. So I wished for the touch of Midas.
After that, everything I touched turned into a muffler.

Genies are Monkey's Paw-type jerks!

I found pictures of Mt. Rushmore before it was carved
Its natural beauty was unpresidented

There's a little known country in central Europe that is ruled by a
monarchy...
Not many people are aware of its existence but I assure that it is there all the same. The king of this little land faces a lot of difficulty. He wants to make his kingdom into a sovereign nation but unfortunately they do not have
the infrastructure, population, or economy to do so. In fact, this small
state is only known for a single export. Thanks to their proximity to some of the finest gold and other metals in the world but total lack of an ability to process those metals on a mass scale, they have been left with only one
option. You know the saying; when life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Make lemonade they did. This tiny territory is renowned for creating the highest quality watches in the world. No expense is spared and their elite group of craftsmen train for their entire lives from childhood to produce these
terrific timepieces. Men of great wealth and taste have been known to trade entire fortunes for just a single one of these watches; that is how valuable they are.

The king knows this and he knows that only a small portion of his populace
can ever hope to become one of the respected elite, let alone hold one of
their masterpieces in their own hands. Being a very just and fair man, the
king ordered the most senior watchmaker in the land to create something the likes of which had never been seen. A watch of such great craftsmanship so as to be above monetary value. The man labored long and hard for many nights to produce the king's watch. When he at last presented the completed work to his lord - in front of the entire nation, no less - he was met with thunderous applause and a warm embrace. He had done it! The king then made a shocking announcement.

"This masterpiece belongs to my people!"

When the roaring of the crowd died down he continued.

"This watch shall be a symbol of my love for all of you. Though I rule over
you with supreme authority I do not wish a single one of you to feel that you do not have a voice in the ruling of this nation. From this day on let anyone who doubts my decisions or questions my judgment wear this watch and stand as my equal to voice their concerns. Should even a single one of you think me unfair or wrong in any matter then simply come to my castle and I will
present you this token of good faith."

The king made good on his word and from that day on all citizens knew they
held the right to challenge their king's rulings. Over time the watch became
a symbol of fairness throughout the land. Anyone who wore it could speak plainly to their ruler.

It was the "don't believe me just" watch.

Claiming to know better & have more authority than God never ends

well

(ask Nebuchadnezzar & John Lennon)

In the comic strip Crock, they noted this Sphinx like structure, they called Ne-boo-kon-eezer. <G> It was centered around a Foreign Legion post, and one day, the commander was coming around, apparently in repentant

tears,

apologizing for all the mean things he had done, and that he'd change his ways. In the last frame, the chef says "No soup for a week...someone stole all of our onions". <G>

I'm a hypocrit, of course, as I'm human -- I'm definitely obese; by

the

grace of God I'm not yet diabetic, but I'm well aware of the dangers there.

Same here. But, I believe in the balanced diet...in the belly and in the butt cheeks. <G> My favorite on that is from a skit the late Red Skelton told...I may have shared this before, but it's still funny.

He said that one day, his wife was telling him was getting "a bit round around the edges", and she admonished him "if you don't lose weight, I'm going to make you wear one of my girdles".

Admidst audience laughter, Red lamented "I know what you dear ladies go through". He said his wife didn't say anything else to him...and he walked into the bathroom, and found this thing on the door.

He goes into this pantomime about putting it on like a diaper. He is sweating like a horse under the hot stage lights, and the entire audience
is roaring in laughter. His wife walks in and demands "What in the world
are you doing??!!". Out of breath, he says "OK, honey. You win. I'll lose weight"...and she screams "You take off my hot water bottle!!" <BG>.

I'm trying to bring it down, even if only to make climbing the stairs not so near to a life or death activity. . .

I hate steps and stairs. Those on the Amtrak Superliners are very narrow and hard to get up and down.

My wife & I agree: we don't want her collercting on the life

insurance

quite yet . . . (she SAYS so, but. . . *LOL* J/King)

Be glad she didn't read that. <G>

Not for me -- I prefer real, fresh caught, wild Pacific Sockeye

salmon,

when I can find some affordably. & I just don't eat peas.

I prefer the English peas...and have some microwave peas and carrots in the freezer, along with some chicken nuggets. I might make that for lunch today or dinner tonight...and take a break from lunch meat sandwiches. I'm staying at home, and not going out, unless I have to. If there's "junk

mail"

in the Post Office Box, I let it sit there.

I've been known to say, "I'm not as good as I once was, but I'm as

good

once as I ever was."

You've heard the song, then. <G>

Like the difference between Fear & Panic, for men:

FEAR: first time you can't do it a second time.
PANIC: second time you can't do it a first time.

Really.

I'm talking semi trucks, with fully loaded trailers.

I heard of a truck hauling things like spaghetti, lasgna, etc. It got stuck on a railroad crossing, and got T-boned by a train, scattering
the cargo everywhere. The meme noted "Garfield is livid with rage". <G>

My brother was crossing in a city intersection on the green when he

got

t- boned by a full garbage truck coming down a long steep hill at

full

speed, no brakes.

Bummer.

It really grinds my gears when people say stick-shift is obsolete.

There was a carjacking incident here recently. The thug forced the

driver

out of the car at an intersection (the thug had a gun), so the driver complied. But, the driver had the last laugh...the car was not automatic transmission, but manual (stick-shift). After only a couple of blocks, the thug stopped the car, got out, and ran off. The driver called the police
to report it, so they could get fingerprints, etc. -- then, he got in the car and drove away. <G>

There is a move in square dancing (one of my other hobbies) called "Slip The Clutch". It basically means drop your hands with the dancer you have a hold of, and step forward. I thought that's what I'd do to my late

father's

1963 Volkswagen...I knew how to work it, but never got coordinated enough
to do so (shifting gears).

Most people like their music bass-boosted, but it seems like too much treble.

Some of these cars have the bass so maxed out, that it shakes their vehicle, and every other vehicle near it...that you'd think an earthquake was in progress.

When an astronaut drinks tea, he takes a big space-sip.

Tang it!! <G>

The best electricity puns are live wires. Coppers really donÆt know

how

to resist these in a coil. If you make enough of this type of pun you can really blow their fuses. You need to be smart about how you

conduct

these so you donÆt overload your capacitors.

But, they are all female, and you better resistor, as the relationship
can be shocking. <G>

The only kind of rap I like is the wrapping paper on gifts.

Years ago, this ventriloquist had a "dummy" named "Shotgun Red" (I don't remember the name of the ventriloquist. Anyway, I saw him at a show, and

he

said "You know what I think of rap music?? Put a "C" in front of it!!". I couldn't have said it better. I think "is the tribal beat and the constant profanity the only things they understand??". It's as if they want to

remain

uneducated.

Scissors always cut to the point.

That was a very cutting truth, no other way to slice it.

Airplane puns always fly overhead. You have to be careful so you

donÆt

stall out. Always use better judgement so you nose how to dive. When used correctly, this pun classification can really propel to infinity and beyond. However, if misused, the fall from grace is full of turbulence.

It's not the fall out of a plane, or the plane plunging to the ground
that kills you. It's the sudden stop at the end.

When working with electricity puns always make sure to be grounded to prevent shocking results.

Voltage: How old the electricity in your line is.

Mr. Tea says, "DonÆt be a fool, stay in school!"

It reminds me of the sequence from the movie "End Of The Line", filmed back in the 1980's (much of it in Arkansas). The exchange was with the 2 grizzled railroaders who had lost their jobs (the son-in-law of the now chairman of the board, was converting the company from railroad to air freight. The son-in-law hated trains...his father-in-law loved them).

Anyway, the exchange went like this:

Leo: You know, Haney?? I was taking a shower the other day, and I was
trying to remember The Pledge Of Allegiance. You know, the American one?? And, hell!! I couldn't get it to come to me.

Haney: Well sir, grade school was a long time ago.

Leo: Yes, sir. That's what kept me out of high school.

I heard one Arkansas film historian note "you can't get any more
Arkansas than that". In fact, the Looney Tunes cartoon, "Hillbilly
Hare", had Bugs Bunny in the Arkansas Ozarks...and he ends up
calling a square dance, and has the 2 hillbillies who were after
him, to beat the crap out of each other. The director, Chuck Jones,
was at one time, a square dance caller, and he was also the Grand
Marshall at the first National Square Dance Convention in Riverside, California in 1951.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m9SrXRNPRCA

(Lyrics included in case it's hard to understand).

i c e i c e w a t e r

"I don't drink water. Fish [have sex] in it". - W.C. Fields

IÆll do algebra. IÆll even do calculus. But graphing is where I draw the line.

Algebra is what the little mermaid wears.

Plants should always rooted in the ground.

Just don't have a dachshund did the hole for you...he'll make it
too big.

Never argue with people when they are right or nobody will be left hanging out with you.

So many feel that:

1) I may not always be right, but I'm never wrong.
2) I may be wrong, but I doubt it.
3) I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken.

Rocks make boulder moves. This means they are pelite and not jagged. DonÆt take these puns for granite.

You have a stoned personality.

Cheese puns are grate because you donÆt have to ask for parmesan to

use

them.

It's not easy being Cheesy...just ask Chester Cheetah. :P

Eskimos have cold personality. It is an ice society, but some of

their

history chills my spine.

If they sit on the ice too long, they get Polaroids.

My dog died a few years ago. It was really ruff.

I've got a rock garden. Last week, 3 of them died.

I am not a fan of wind turbines.

You can get blown away otherwise.

Life is like driftwood. You never know where you will float.

I've got a big piece of driftwood in the living room above the
piano. I haven't played it in years, and I'm sure it's out of tune.

Christmas lights stick together. When one goes out, they all do.

That's for sure...then, it takes forever to find the bad bulb.

Puns about communism are only funny if everyone gets them.

Just don't air your dirty Lenin in public.

Rocket scientists cannot fuel around or something bad can happen.

Then, it's not rocket science.

A baker is someone who kneads to make baked goods.

That's because they knead the dough.

I sometimes wear stripes to avoid being spotted.

Ted: I keep seeing spots before my eyes.
Red: Have you seen a doctor??
Ted: No, just spots.

Sponges are great at absorbing liquids.

For a real sponge cake, borrow all the ingredients.

Contrary to the name, relationships have nothing to do with boats.

Too many of them are shipwrecked by the simplest things.

Daryl

... To the guy who invented zero: Thanks for nothing
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

From a Facebook post...

EATING IN THE FIFTIES

Pasta had not been invented. It was macaroni or spaghetti.

Curry was a surname.

A take-away was a mathematical problem.

Pizza? Sounds like a leaning tower somewhere.

Bananas and oranges only appeared at Christmas time .

All potato chips were plain.

Rice was a milk pudding, and never, ever, part of our dinner.

A Big Mac was what we wore when it was raining.

Brown bread was something only poor people ate.

Oil was for lubricating, fat was for cooking.

Tea was made in a teapot using tea leaves and never green

Cubed sugar was regarded as posh.

Chickens didn't have fingers in those days.

None of us had ever heard of yogurt.

Healthy food consisted of anything edible.

Cooking outside was called camping.

Seaweed was not a recognized food.

'Kebab' was not even a word, never mind a food.

Sugar enjoyed a good press in those days, and was regarded as being
white gold.

Prunes were medicinal.

Surprisingly muesli was readily available. It was called cattle feed.

Pineapples came in chunks in a tin; we had only ever seen a picture of
a real one.

Water came out of the tap. If someone had suggested bottling it and
charging more than gasoline for it, they would have become a laughing
stock.

The one thing that we never ever had on at our table in the fifties...
was elbows or hats!
--- SBBSecho 3.20-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33)

You missed one:
ALL food was "organic"(or "Natural") so no need to label anything as such; you either ate "food" or "junk food" & junk food was still quite new (really boomed after WW2's returning of our men from overseas)

I keep it simple now: when trying to choose a restaurant, I ask my fam: Shall we have food or sh*t tonight? (McD's being the latter, of course); calling it what it qualitatively is doesn't seen to affect the frequency of them choosing such.

Always, though, Mom's home cooking over anything else.

From a Facebook post...
EATING IN THE FIFTIES
Pasta had not been invented. It was macaroni or spaghetti.
Curry was a surname.
A take-away was a mathematical problem.
Pizza? Sounds like a leaning tower somewhere.
Bananas and oranges only appeared at Christmas time .
All potato chips were plain.
Rice was a milk pudding, and never, ever, part of our dinner.
A Big Mac was what we wore when it was raining.
Brown bread was something only poor people ate.
Oil was for lubricating, fat was for cooking.
Tea was made in a teapot using tea leaves and never green
Cubed sugar was regarded as posh.
Chickens didn't have fingers in those days.
None of us had ever heard of yogurt.
Healthy food consisted of anything edible.
Cooking outside was called camping.
Seaweed was not a recognized food.
'Kebab' was not even a word, never mind a food.
Sugar enjoyed a good press in those days, and was regarded as being
white gold.
Prunes were medicinal.
Surprisingly muesli was readily available. It was called cattle feed. Pineapples came in chunks in a tin; we had only ever seen a picture of
a real one.
Water came out of the tap. If someone had suggested bottling it and
charging more than gasoline for it, they would have become a laughing
stock.
The one thing that we never ever had on at our table in the fifties...
was elbows or hats!

Gentlemen removed their hat upon entering a building, especially an eatery, or anywhere with women present.

& people dressed UP to go out of the house, even just to the corner to buy bread!

I wasn't around in the '50s, but I've had many friends who were from the time & still lived/behaved that way. . . My veteran neighbour Jc wouldn't leave the house without a tie & his late wife always had a matching hat, shoes, & jacket whenever she stepped out of the building. 'Twas a pleasure to see them on their way out for a coffee. He carried himself with proper carriage (he was an ex-Navy man); I feel ashamed alongside my memories of them. Another buddy of nine, born in '37, never left without a tie, but he didn't go for the suit normally, unlike Jack. I am from a very different time, born 50 year after Jack & 30 after Albert. I dress appropriately for my generation -- it's still considered valid these days, but not dressy -- I dress at the upper end of casual (an actual button-up shirt); most go for tees &/or sweatshirts, as I did in my teens & 20s. Girls tend to go for lingerie for above the waist. Not necessarily terrible, I'll admit. So long as they are actual females (getting rarer these days to see a display of femininity that doesn't belong to a
'dude!')

Most of my friends seemed to have been born in 1937 -- sadly, most of them are now dearly departed. They were "dearly," & now they are departed. Can I get an "amen?"

Also from the '50s there was no argument or confusion as to which bathroom you used at the mall!

Owners of "Indoor Plumbing" used the Ladies' Room; We, with "Outdoor Plumbing" used the Men's. Simple, even wee children could, & did, understand it!

Saw a comic of a couple standing in front of the washroom M&F sign, confused, as she wore straight pants & he had a kilt on -- the silhouettes seemed to be saying different things to them as to others who came by.


--- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-7
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757)