A rich man went to his vicar and said, "I want you
and your wife to take a three-month trip to the Holy
Land at my expense. When you come back, I'll have a surprise
for you".

The vicar accepted the offer, and he and his wife
went off to the Middle East.

Three months later they returned home and were met
by the wealthy parishioner, who told them that while they
were gone, he had had a new church built. "It's the
finest building money can buy, vicar," said the man. "No
expense was spared."

And he was right. It was a magnificent edifice both
inside and out. But there was one striking difference.
There was only one pew, and it was at the very back.

"A church with only one pew?" asked the vicar.

"You just wait until Sunday," the rich man said.

When the time came for the Sunday service, the early
arrivals entered the church, filed onto the one pew
and sat down. When the pew was full, a switch clicked
silently, a circuit closed, the gears meshed, a belt
moved and, automatically, the rear pew began to move
forward.

When it reached the front of the church, it came to
a stop. At the same time, another empty pew came up
from below at the back and more people sat down.

And so it continued, pews filling and moving forwards
until finally the church was full, from front to
back.

"Wonderful!" said the vicar, "Marvelous!"

The service began, and the vicar started to preach
his sermon. He launched into his text and, when 12
o'clock came, he was still going strong, with no end in
sight.

Suddenly a bell rang, and a trap door in the floor
behind the pulpit dropped open.

"Wonderful!" said the congregation, "Marvelous!"
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)

[great joke temporarily moved to original post for space]
[...]

The service began, and the vicar started to preach
his sermon. He launched into his text and, when 12
o'clock came, he was still going strong, with no end in
sight.

Suddenly a bell rang, and a trap door in the floor
behind the pulpit dropped open.

"Wonderful!" said the congregation, "Marvelous!"

The Vicar & fellow Irish Protestant decided to watch the house they'd heard rumours was a "House of Ill Repute"; they settled in across the way, behind some shrubbery.

Presently, a member of the local Catholic congregation furtively went into
the front door.

Both men of the cloth agreed to pray for his poor soul.

Later another Catholic went in & they agreed, robustly, that there was a sin deep in Catholic church, & prayed that his time in Hell wouldn't be for too long.

Before anon, one of their own group went in. The second clergyman spoke up, "How nice, Gerald's gone in to convert the poor lasses."

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)