• Jokes 6/7

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    As Grandmother used to say

    Trout jump high When a rain is nigh

    ------

    A wizard cannot do everything; a fact most magicians are reticent to admit,
    let alone discuss with prospective clients. Still, the fact remains that
    there are certain objects, and people, that are, for one reason or another, completely immune to any direct magical spell. It is for this group of
    beings that the magician learns the subtleties of using indirect spells.
    It also does no harm, in dealing with these matters, to carry a large club
    near your person at all times."
    -- The Teachings of Ebenezum, Volume VIII


    --

    Actor: So what do you do for a living? Doris: I work for a company that
    makes deceptively shallow serving dishes for Chinese restaurants.
    -- Woody Allen, "Without Feathers"


    ---

    The little two-year-old daughter was with her mother while her older sister

    was being examined by a dentist. The girl kept herself busy playing with

    toys in the waiting room until she noticed that her mom was resting, her

    eyes closed.

    With about six other patients waiting, the little girl marched up to her

    mother, looked her straight in the face and shook her shoulder.

    "Mommy," she yelled, "wake up! This is not church!"





    Speed

    -----

    One time we were driving through a construction zone and the sign said,

    SPEED LIMIT 35 AHEAD. Well there were four of us in the car so we were

    through there in no time.






    ---------



    Gift

    ----

    My wife and I received a lovely trophy as a wedding gift from a friend. But

    upon closer inspection, we noticed that the plaque seemed to reveal some

    dark, previously hidden secret.

    There were only two lines on the engraving, and no punctuation. Read

    together, it said, "May the Lord B