Jokes 18/7
From
GM3YEW@21:5/101 to
HUMOIR on Thu Jul 18 03:30:11 2019
R:190718/0627Z 6611@VA3TOK.#SCON.ON.CAN.NOAM LinBPQ6.0.18
R:190718/0626Z 5737@GB7YEW.#79.GBR.EURO LinBPQ6.0.18
As Grandmother used to say
The higher the clouds the better the weather
----
An elephant is a mouse with an operating system.
----
Despising machines to a man,
The Luddites joined up with the Klan,
And ride out by night In a sheeting of white
To lynch all the robots they can.
-- C. M. and G. A. Maxson
---------
Dear Mister Language Person: What is the purpose of the apostrophe?
Answer: The apostrophe is used mainly in hand-lettered small business signs
to alert the reader than an "S" is coming up at the end of a word, as in:
WE DO NOT EXCEPT PERSONAL CHECK'S, or: NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY ITEM'S.
Another important grammar concept to bear in mind when creating hand- lettered small-business signs is that you should put quotation marks around random
words for decoration, as in "TRY" OUR HOT DOG'S, or even TRY "OUR" HOT DOG'S.
-- Dave Barry, "Tips for Writer's"
---
A truck driver who was already having a bad
day, was driving down the highway, when a
car driven by a blonde cuts him off right
before a stop light.
The truck driver was furious! He honked and
honked till he got her attention, and told
her to pull over.
The blonde pulls over, gets out of her car,
and asks what the problem is.
He drew a circle with chalk on the road, and
said, "I want you to stand right there in
that circle and don't move!" and she does...
The trucker goes into his rig, gets his knife
out, and goes up to the blonde's car and starts
destroying her seats...
As he goes back over to the blonde, she has a
smirk on her face.
Even more angry now, the trucker goes into his
rig, and takes out his beat stick.... goes
back over to her car and starts busting out
the windows....
This time he goes up to the girl and she is
just laughing hysterically.
Confused and extremely angry, he asks her,
"What on EARTH is SO FUNNY?!! I just des