• Jokes 19/7

    From GM3YEW@21:5/101 to HUMOUR on Fri Jul 19 03:20:15 2019
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    As Grandmother used to say
    Vows made in storms are forgotten in calms
    --------

    There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that
    is not being talked about.
    -- Oscar Wilde

    --
    If time heals all wounds, how come the belly button stays the same?

    --

    Committees have become so important nowadays that subcommittees have to be appointed to do the work.

    ---


    A man was beaten up by robbers on a
    road to London. He lay there, half
    dead and in bad shape. A Vicar came
    along, saw him and passed by on the
    other side. Next, a monk came by but
    also walked quickly on the other side.
    Finally, a social worker came along,
    looked at the man and said "Whoever
    did this needs help!"


    Viking
    ------
    A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name
    Missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the
    Local civic official who apologized profusely saying ...
    "I must have taken Leif off my census."



    -----


    What did the Zen Buddhist
    Monk say to the Hotdog Vender?...

    Make me One with everything.


    -------
    SOCIALISM
    You have 2 cows.
    You give one to your neighbour.

    COMMUNISM
    You have 2 cows.
    The State takes both and gives you some milk.

    FASCISM
    You have 2 cows.
    The State takes both and sells you some milk.

    NAZISM
    You have 2 cows.
    The State takes both and shoots you.